you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, December 23, 2010

8:17 AM

18 weeks more to go!!

okay... promise was this.
NOT TO CRY till you are home. I'm sorry. it seems a little difficult now.

As the saying goes.... it will come to a point in time where all pretty things will stop, all sad things will stop and all things will come to an end. I count down, all the time to something- to the day you return home, to the day I graduate from NIE, till the day I go back to TS to teach. i pray and I hope, for the best every single time. I guess, I do not have much confidence in my abilities, thats why, i have to hope and pray.

I'm sorry.. I cried. I miss you way too much and I do not have the confidence in myself to keep to that promise. Its difficult to try to block the distance out of my head. I lost count of the number of weeks since I was with you.. therefore... I need to let it out. I need to do small things to keep you close to me. I need a little of you near me. Sorry I don't make any sense right now.

You seem far away from me. More so now than before. I don't know why. I'm glad you like your little christmas present. =) I wish I can fast forward just a tiny bit.. to the day you are home.. and then i'll look forward to me going over in June.

I do not know if you feel the same way as I do. I feel helpless, I feel stupid, I feel ignored. I can't do anything about it and this sucks a lot. I feel so stupid to be crying while typing this post. I know I promised and all. I feel that no one understands what I'm going through. They think we will not make it cause of the distance. They are not listening to me. I wanna talk to you the entire day because I feel that I am not giving you enough.

I know I'm a little needy. I know I depend on you a lot. right now... I wish u will poof right infront of me and stay till its time for you to wake up and carry on your day. I'm sorry to emo right now.

I have nothing else to say..

Fairytales..

7:27 AM

20 weeks!

okay.. I kinda made this little promise thingy with myself that I will not cry (cuz i'm sad and missing you oh-so-much) for the next 20 weeks. Its possible right? HAHA! 140 days!!!

I'm kinda sure now that its 20 weeks.START THE COUNT DOWN! =D

mmm... i've been doing absolutely nothing for the past 2 weeks. I miss going to NIE for some reason. I still feel like a sloth most of the time... roar* I will start the readings tomorrow!!!! oh no!!! that reminds me.. results are gonna be out soon! VERY VERY SOON!!!!

should i go for a run tomorrow?i feel fat and sloth like.. *bloop*

Fairytales..