you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, September 29, 2007

11:00 PM

300th post! gosh. i do blog alot.

i do stupid things. like not studying. not passing driving the very 1st time. not doing well in exams. screwing up my love life. i read someone's blog today. inspiring. (not exactly) the power of love seriously. i feel that i give alot. i think back on the times when i was spending most of my time with this paticular someone. i realised that it totally not worth it. i m not being remembered now. for that matter, i m pleased. i moved on for that. n i'm glad. cuz that person is leading the life n i'm here leading my own. i hate it when nobody understands. and that particular someone is exactly like that. i did a stupid thing to actually befriend. i glad its over.

now for the other stupid thing, i m waiting when i actually say i move on. can i be any stupider? seriously? i'm waiting at the side road now. not because of u. because of my friend. but deep down, somehow, i hope u actually remember what u have said. make that coming day the very last n i will definitely move on. i duno what m i holding on actually. m i really moving? am i am i?

somehow, it seems like a dream. i think it is actually. exams are close. 1st paper on the 8th. the slightest thing will make me happy 10 days after that. i dun ask for much. just know of my presence. really.

Fairytales..

1:27 AM

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do

maybe things should happen.. than will i understand what everyone was trying to tell me. i see you in my dreams. n i can only hope n pray for the best. so now, i leave u with these words, i'm trying to forget. thankyouverymuch

Fairytales..

11:59 PM

i finish doing the children days presents!!! =) yayness..

i spent 14 bucks! on sweets!!

its MINI lollipops! omg.. they are so cute! only 30 cents!

and 4 bucks on the cup and wrapper!!

and also.. LOTS of PRECIOUS time!!! its finally done! yes!

Fairytales..

4:02 PM

i'm in class.
i'm blogging.
i'm moving on.
i'm rushing through my work.
i'm confused.
i don't like nx sem.
i'm done!

i'm rushing through my work again. this is the time of the semester again where things just don't go right. you rush your work, you detetch youself from the world for almost 1 mth. you shut youself in your bedroom and spend most of the time sitting and staring at the comp. you dun have the time to rest your spine. in other words, you dun have the time to sleep. i had 5 hrs of sleep yest! trying to do my work. my spine hurts so badly! anywayz, on a slightly nicer note, i managed to finish my load of getting raw datas for stats which i still dun understand why i hav to do that report! ARGH!! wow.. how hard can that get man? i will have to finish 2111 soon! gosh.. would u just kill me for procrestination? i need training to get me up n going again! not that it did make much of a difference in the 1st place. i learnt so much from what i studied- health psych, learning n behavior and stats! i hate stats!!! i seriously do! argh! anywayz.. my only thing i'm looking forward to is going out with hilda this sat. and prob nothing else.

i'm studying thank you.

Fairytales..

4:32 PM

i was suppose to study. decided not to. and now, blogging. because i'm bored. Dear Mr. i look too highly on you. i thot it will be okay. but i was wrong. anywayz, i got over it and i'm driving at 100km/hr now. and i will keep it that way till i find another place to pull over. thnkyouverymuch.

Fairytales..

4:53 AM

before i started blogging, i had TONS of things to blog about. but now.. i've only one sentence

it hurts so much.

Fairytales..

11:25 PM

so a little update..... did not make it for driving. the end.

somethings are hard to explain.

a little photos from the past... celebrating alicia (missing), yanling n maria's birthday!!! =)

lavinia's little adventure.

at dempsey BnJ!! 21/09.. fun man! had sea breeze! wat a team! haha!

and so i figure.. this is my life now.

Fairytales..

9:31 AM

so i was just thinking. will everything be the same.

went out with jojo last night! cotton on is kinda disappointing actually. nevertheless... i bought stuff! =) woot! n mayb i can dress differently to work! HAHA! oh wells. n when i was in cotton on.. i saw affair n my very very best friend- charlotte! well.. =) lets just keep it that way only! and so.. i guss i'm over with all the faults in the presentations n stuff! i guess i'm done with it, grumbling n all! surprise surprise.. i did not talk to justin at all yest! i duno if its cause he's not feeling well or i just dun give a shit. HAHA! anyway, as what christine say.. doing project in a group has change her mindset of some of our friends! n yes.. i totally agree with u christine!

sometimes, things just go wrong right!? yupp.. it just go poof!! n u know that it will not come back together in one piece again. like how i was talking to jojo abt issues with once-upon-a-time good friend. even eliza was shock. but oh wells. sometimes, things just havw to end for the best of both worlds ya? u go ur way i go my. but some are not suppose to end at all. some have to be held on. n hey.. u two out there, hold on.. tight...! to what u have.. make the right moves! =)

tmr is the BIG day.. driving test! i really hope to pass! actually, i think its easy to pass! WTH! i can't actually get oh-so-complacent now right!? HAHA! oh wells.. it will make my day tho! =) oh top of that, netballers going to dempsey. n i have to get doughtnuts! so i'll update again soon!

Fairytales..

4:00 PM

i hate doing presentation. i am not going to do presentations again. n if i have to, i will not lead it. i will follow! my presentation for health today SUCK! learning was okay tho. i shall not elaborate. somehow i feel pleased that its over. but not so man! haiz. its just suck.

so.. training in a bit. yayness!

Fairytales..

1:09 AM

i want everything to stop. i just want to focus!! u hear me!!!

focusing on school work is the most impt thing to me now. oh wells. nothing new eh? its nearing exam period, people just get oh so pissed off with everything and many things! SOMETIMES A SORRY REALLY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING! i hate sorries. just keep it with u. its all empty! its all easy to say. i promise.. i'm sorry... i love you... i miss you... how many times u say that n u actually mean it? seriously?!

netball netball!!! i m only looking forward to trainings now. intensive i will call it. this is my chance. my one and only chance to prove myself. oh wells. i shall quote from the OH SO FAMOUS person.. *dun let hannah know* "But sometimes...team sport...focuses on what's best for the team." seriously..! team team.. i'm training because of the team!!!! how silly of me..

i need a new thing to go on in my life. something that will spark magic! something which will make me cry tears of joy. i know it sounds dumb but my life is boring. filled with tons of sorrow.. assignments and exam.. in this modern world of chasing and chasing. my dad actually got so pissed with work that he went out to mt faber for a breather! believe it man! this is singapore! stress! or rather.. singapore is the stressor! HAHA!

ps.. i still hope u saw me! i hope u know i'm here! i hope u talk to me like how we used to! can i say.. i'm moving on?? its funny. trust me.

Fairytales..

3:45 PM

it hurts me so much to see u like this. u've wanted it so much eh?! silly girl.. i can't say its alright because its not at all alright. cheer up..! its not worth it. its over. u've moved on.. right?! =) loves~

so what have i been doing the past few days?! not blogging obviously. been super tired n doing lots of bitching n F-ing and thinking and hopeing to have the same amount of time sleeping. finally. i had my longest sleep in like the entire mth! like 8 plus hours! how poor thing actually. exams are like coming! oh my god! n i.. haven been studying.. OMG too! and.. driving is this friday! wish me luck! one down.. than i can concentrate on other stuff like piano i hope. i realise that i've got ONE week to study for piano. actually more than that. like almost 2 weeks lar. so.. i'm not exactly cheonging now. WHICH IS NOT GOOD BTW! i've been going out alot! celebrating birthdays, thinking of the future.. watching movies, playing netball (i wish it was a game tho) training up my stamina.. (i'm so gonna pla center!- hannah.. u can go sit on the bench! HAHAHAH! jk lar!) photos will be up when i feel like it.. so for now.. its back to piano homework! this paper that i'm doing is SO DIFFICULT! its kiling me! i'm already on it for 2 hrs! darn it! =X anywayz.. its back to piano or i'll be killed tomorrow by my piano teacher. than tuesday! presentation for bothe PY2111 n PY2104.. so monday is cheoging time for both! what luck acutally! anywayz.. i'll update with photos soon..

Fairytales..

11:55 PM

this is from ruby. thank you so much ruby. for this is what i want to say always. and this is how i really feel. i do hope the teachers saw it somehow. =) credits to ruby for the wonderful wordings!

Whenever i think of them, Memories reflects in my mind again. (those in blue are my words!)
Mr.Wong a.k.a Huang Lao Shi (Chinese & PE teacher)
- encouraged me to jog everyday during TAF.
- encouraged me to watch my health
- encouraged me to lose weight.
mr wong ALWAYS sees me n say that i'm fat. he's the teacher that will go on n on about his 2 kids. how good n smart they are n stuff. in any case.. i found him naggy. now, i miss him.
Ms Wong Ke Xin (Maths teacher)
- Pulled my class out of self-pity.
- You touched our hearts when u said "make the best out of what you have now"
- The only teacher who never gave us up when we are last Express class
- The tears you cried is for us. The tears we cried is for our mistakes.
- Your words gave us hope and awaken us up from our wrongdoings.
she pushed me all the way. she told me that i can do it. she tear for us.. which woke us up! she's naggy! as all teachers will be. but she's the best math teacher ever!
Mr Lau (Form teacher)
- Sent to our class as a last resort bcoz every teacher gave up on us.
- You pulled our grades from F9 case to a C6.
- You pulled our positions from 39th to 7th.
- You made Sec 4E from a nothing to a Champion in Literature Play Competition.
he's like my friend. tho a little gay sometimes. but he's the best. he work with the class. he is the other teacher that woke us up! slap us hard! place the reality infront of us n told us that we can do it! he's the teacher that i'll nv forget! the things he said to us and the way he helped us- unbelievable.
Miss Mak (2nd Chinese teacher)
- The only teacher who uses english to teach us Chinese lessons.
- You are more than a teacher to us. A friend we can confide.
- You created the top Chinese Olevel student in our class.
i've got nothing much to say abt ms mak other than.. she's a friend! n she's in my team! she helped jasmine passed chinese! she spoke to jasmine in english! she is loved!
Mrs Josephine Phang (English teacher)
- Giving us extra tuition was an option to you. But u did it.
- You praised us "Good!" when we only got a pass.
- Whatever results we get, you never condemned us.
- You appreciated our efforts even though its an improvement of 1 mark.
the only thing i can remember clearly abt phang is that she gave us tons of work to do. she made us work our ass off! she told me "well done chermaine! u passed ur english with a good grade! i'm proud of u!" she's the teacher who never ever gave up on us! i miss her!

Without you teachers,I will never be who i am today.
You made us stronger.
You pulled us up from our self-esteem.
Although, I never had a chance to tell yall face-to-face.
Your passion and teachings i will never forget.
Thank you for all that you have done for Class 4E.
The Rotten Apples of Class 4E we used to be,
has become your wonderful dragonss that you are proud of today.
I love you guys! ^^

from chermaine
there are the unspoken teachers that made lots of difference.. like mr sng (he's the power man!) mr yeo (the loud chem guy!) ms wong (the last min bio teacher! we had like tons of bio teachers!) SS teacher- mrs kwong who i duno where she is now, ms lee! wonderful wonderful lit teacher! n off course accounts teacher.. who is totally forgot her name! =P there are so many memories that made up the wonderful life in STC. the friends i made, the teachers who helped me to be who i'm today. with all the thanks in the world, THANKYOU!

Fairytales..

11:55 PM

yoyo!!! i've got no photo to put in the blog today! everything is going on just fine... can ALWAYS be better. =) anywayz.. i'm updating for the sake of updating it. HAHA! its hairspray tomorrow! (yes.. i;m A LITTLE slow lar!) anywayz...

teammates.. do remember this friday's game. (i'm demanding a game!) please too.. study hard hard!! i want to play center!!! (i'm crazy)

to cuzzy jojo.. =) thats all abt it.. a smile n i laugh and a hug.

to lavinia mom!! STOP BEING SO HIGH!!!! STOP DOING THAT DANCE!! i want more salmon! please live up to ur motto! =P

YEOML!! u idiot girl!!! call me man! i've got TONS to tell u! at LEAST TAGGGG!!!! hayo.. dun think u so far away i duno what u doing kz! HAHAHAH! =)

-i'm not at all jealous! thankyou very much! -

Fairytales..

2:07 PM

SINGAPORE WON! =)

Fairytales..

11:21 PM

5 NATIONS NETBALL

the 5 nations- canada, northern ireland, singapore, sri lanka and trinidad and tobago.

game 2.. singapore and sri lanka. =) singapore won!!!

game 1.. northern ireland and canada!

tomorrows game. 1st n 2nd placing- singapore n trinidad and tobago.. (guess who will win?) =P 3rd and 4th placing- sri lanka and northern ireland! well.. let me show u how exciting the game singapore with sri lanka was.

this is why.. the GS n the GK!! the GK is VERY VERY good please! =) powerful jump!

and this is what i've won from shooting. one try one shoot! haven been shooting but.. it went in!!! i won this white netball! also signed by the champion netball team, new zeland- silver ferns. =) i almost did not get the chance to shoot! gosh.. lucky i had like 15 secs! =) oh wells. i love the ball. =P

i have a vision. is yours the same as mine teammates?! =)

in school...i'm trying really hard to ignore u and ur nonscence. so what the heck!? if u wanna do the project.. do it well!! i can't tolarate u anymore!

Fairytales..

10:00 PM

I SEE YOU!!!
do u see me?

anywayz.. have u EVER feel like ur the dumbest fool in the world?! well.. i did. gosh..i hate grp projects, pair projects. i dun understand anything n everything! working alone gives me the right to do everything and i will not be pulled down by the pther person/people.

well.. my thoughts for the min..
do u actually have a BF? wats up with all those stuff?

i hope ur doing fine! cuz i'm not. =X

Fairytales..

9:58 PM

i spent money again!!! but this time, i'm happy! =) anywayz.. netball!!!! =)

i've got tons to do.... n recently, i've been in a really foul mood. like tons of *_*_! words! n its most of it to one person! HAHA! oh wells.

anywayz.. to SOME OTHER person.. if u EVER read y blog.. get this straight! u r the reason y many things dun work out! what can actually be FUN n EXCITING is actually ruined by YOU! so.. go get some brains. n i realy hope that some how someone will let u know that u are creating problems! thank you very much!

-i'm still waiting-

Fairytales..

11:55 PM

Game 2... Singapore and Northern Ireland.

Game 1... Canada and Trinidad and Tobago.

i'm motivated! =)

Fairytales..

11:50 PM

ARMY!!!

some rifle stuff.. airforce!!

i love this! =)

went for army open house today with christine! =) yayness.. i'm gonna join the army! =P okay.. i'm lazy to type... i'll go now! bye! =)

5 nations game tmr!!!! =) love it!

Fairytales..

11:26 PM

if we were a movie
you'd the right guy
and i'd be the best friend
u'd fall in love with in the end
we'd be laughing
watching the sunset
fate to black
show the name
play that happy song!!!

Fairytales..

11:25 PM

its funny how i'm on the other side of the table now. hmm... so here goes.. 1st sept.. i've been giving teachers, celebrating how good they are and how they inspire me. n now.. this is what happens.

i guess.. the picture says it all. =) only 2 mths! =) i hope to inspire!

in the mist of all the "celebration" i have to upgrade myself. bought this book- teacher's guide i call it. oh wells.. i'm actually quite pissed of now. stupid principle! now i can't promote any of my students! but well.. take this time as stress free period n study everything. ask katherine i guess! =) hope to be better!

anywayz...yesterday was netball bbq at lavinia's place! woo hoo! fun man!! =) so.. we have ALMOST the entire team! n we're all going for 5 nations! can't wait! i dun have much photos. have to get it from other ppl! its fun!! wishing u all the best for Os n As n promos. jia you! =P

oh yes... i'm still waiting. for many things actually. bye now for i'm gonna do piano.

Fairytales..