you're a mystery yourself

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

5:11 AM

sometimes things just don't go your way. seriously.. i met with many setbacks. many times i let it out but as i grow older, i began to realise that i really have to let it all in. and it is not a case of friends telling u to let it out, u let it out. nowaday, when we do things, we have to consider the environment. seriously, i dun think i m cut out to study. i think i m cut out to do things like scooping ice cream my entire life.

"whatever.." i tell myself these few mths. its a total pointless thing to carry on doing things n not get anywhere. "psych will be the next big fail!" i was told. many times i want to succeed but tell u sumthing. i really can't! i tried my best n tada.. i still fail. n some people who said that she will fail NEVER FAIL!!! study?? yes i did!! did she?? NO!! n then who passes? HER! not ME!!! is this all karma?? seriously!! lady luck finds ppl who r sickening and give them good life! look at one of my ex classmate! FLOODED WITH BOYS!!! this is seriously nothing to be proud about. GET THE COURSE SHE WANTS!!! n get good testimonial cuz she is being loved! WHAT THE FUCK!! this world is really one true horrible place. sometimes.. i want to slap those people who got lady luck with them! when will their luck wear off?! when is it my turn? i m luckless! n to add on.. i m BRAINLESS!

now i have to retake!

***************************edited**************************

sorry for those who read my entry. really.. it will not happen again! i promise!

Fairytales..

6:15 AM

oh man.. stillt rying to get use to this beta blogger thingy. oh wells. tell u what!!! I FINISHED MY 2106 ESSAY!!! YEAH!!! n not a good news... that means all the exams are coming up!!! n on tuesday.. it will be DRIVING TEST! YAWNS!!! its like.. i m thinking if i made it the right choice to take up driving eh! =( and i tell u... haiz... i think some ppl will just have to learn it the hard way! seriously. sent ting ting and family to the airport today! oh wat a funny day i tell u!!! n my darling aden is getting cuter each n every time i see him! this adorable thing! =) here's some photos... enjoy! from a pretty long time ago......

the photo that will bring us to fame!!! soon.. i promise! =)

seems like the comp dun want to work with me... yawns... one pix 1st ba! =)

Fairytales..

8:45 AM

god know why i m in school now man! okay.. techinically i m here for tut but darn it.. this better be worth my time lar! as usual.. 1103 nv had a good tut lesson! all waste time lessons.

anywayz.. i said it ou again! y do i have to do shit ALL the time?? n to francis.. please listen! i so hope u have the gift of listening to others n stop assuming that u can anticipate whats coming up next.. cuz u tried n its NOT working! please... i m so not gonna forgive u when u repeat this stuff ALL the time n say: " please accept my apologies~" learn from mistake LAH!

anywayz... this entry is so to keep me awake. was talking to wanxin yest night till like 2am n i m almost dead. tried to keep her awake so she can read her materials n for me?? do my essay! n TK is coming!!! god.. guide me with the words i should say! thank you! =) panic panic panic. this is so not good man,,, hate to panic for stuff like that. but no choice lar! =( i got feel now! byee!

Fairytales..

10:01 PM

please.. someone... tell me something i don't know and that i really want to know. please...

Fairytales..

9:32 PM

seriously!!! seriously!!!!!!!!! i need to lose weight!! n guess what?? trying HARD not to eat all the junk n eat only proper meals n i m getting it when i PUT ON WEIGHT!!! this is so not good!!! gosh... please tell me is that time of the mth n thats y.. thank you! i need to lose say 7 kg by new year to look good in my tops! i mean.. now that i put on weight.. i think i will need to lose 20kg b4 i look good in anything lar! WA LAO!!! i tell u.. i m darn pissed with myself! i haven been eating alot today n i gained weight like overnight! THANKS!!

besides the point... i need to do my essay! okay.. its the very me to start complaining n blogging about all my complains where i can use this time of blogging to do my work! hmm.. chermaine chermaine chermaine... oh... n that person is pissing me off big time!!! y do i want to interfer with ur love life man!??! to hell with it actually! oppx. i'm only doing it cuz if not my sis will prob die under ur cousin's hands! like seriously!

back to essay n hope to dream and not get back to reality!

Fairytales..

12:15 AM

seriously, i duno what to blog.. i just want to blog. i just read many ppl's entry for the day and i realise that recently ppl have been thinking about their past.. like schooling days- JC n Secondary days... also.. ppl have been trying hard to find job and changing jobs etc. seriously.. i m thankful to have this job. the job that i so totally love cuz its not ADMIN!! n i get to interract with ppl! o love my job! n i grow with it. =) this monday.. i will be going to the office for my very 1st BnJ meeting. how lovely.. taking new roles, new responsibilities n tada.. new things to do to fit into my day. think i m gonna pon school on that day. that lady dun teach much actually. so whats the point of going to school n at the end of the day i will not understand anything cuz she leaves us to complete our stuff. yawns. anywayz... as i was saying.. now ppl always think of their schooling days.. was just thinking.. is this one of the erikson's stages?? mayb... is it the transition stage?? gosh.. i need to study! now then... i m getting jealous that did not go into JC n ppl are all cuming out of JC saying its FUN!!! but at the same time.. tiring n stressful. oh wells. i duno y in the world is it stressful when its just studying.. i mean it.. seriously.. i m stress too.. but its studying.. n DATELINES! did i mention i hate datelines??

anywayz.. i still duno is i m happy at where is m now. like.. m i happy doing psychology!??! mayb i should not have done this course.. mayb i should have done my O levels so well n get into SA or mayb do so so so well to get into HC or RJ!!! wow!!! i think i will b tian cai already! anywayz... thats so not the point. i can't do anything now but to move on... now i m so close to my goal that it makes me rethink of my routes. do i really want to be an educator?? okay... now i think i will be so fixated at this stage that i will probably be some kinda joke! should i major in developmental psyc n move to aussie n stay there n be great over there?? oh wells... i think singapore is still better keeping in mind the phrase "the grass is greaner on the other side" which is not very reliable.

i duno man... i think the thing that i know now is to run off n start looking at my essay qn. toodders!

Fairytales..

7:40 PM

gonna have midterms tomorrow! totally suck!!! ask me what have i studied?!!? HAHA!!! NOTHING!!! yeaH!!! chermaine the great is gonna play eraser tmr again n hope n prays that she will do well.. so much about wanting to top in class.. i can't even hold a candle to charissa or eric!! not even close! GOSH!!! i need to start!!! but its already mid day n guess what!?!? i m so not started! OH.. have i told u about friends who say i will keep ur secret??

yes... about that.. i have been thinking n guess what i found!?!? yupp.. one of my friends told stuff to the other.. so much about trusting u bitch! okay.. my fault... i should NEVER trust anyone.. but i know her for so long.. STILL!!! u should never trust anyone but urself... okay ppl... see.. i m engaging in a private conv with myself!!! gosh... so much about being a psych student! HATE MIDTERMS!!! y must there be midterms for that stinking module!?!? i hate that module! yawns!!! y can't have midterms for 2106?? or 1103?? ARGH!!! anywayz... i m disappointed!!! with that friend who so no longer will be a friend.. n also... with myself for the lack of disipline.

anywayz... i did a valentine's cake yesterday.. heres the pic of it... oh... do please consider to buy an ice cream cake to celebrate with ur loved one eh!?!?

description:

everyone comes a long way to find true love. on this very day... 2 ppl will share the true meaning of love when they crosses each other's borders to truly understand. when 2 are brought together.. they will find that love is not just plainly kissing n hugging. its when they understand each other deep deep.. haha!!! so on this day.. 2 will become one, meeting at the borders of their own. presenting "crossing the borders of love" by chermaine~ happy valentines!

Fairytales..

1:53 PM

had a pretty rough afternoon tho i snoozed till 11 today. got called up by manager n guess what?? sumthing happened at the stall. gosh.. my first mission as an ASL. i was hoping that she will learn. mayb what happened in the stall was all done by her?? or mayb its just me thinking to much. give her the benifit of the doubt. nevertheless.. its wrong. on my way home, it was starting to pour. i walked may may to the bus stop tada... i rushed home hoping that it will not pour till i reached home. but it did. i ran my way home in the ran as it became heavier and heavier n heavier. finally, i lost the stamina to carry on.. i walked home. but it was getting heavier.. so i started running again.. i took off my slippers n ran! thinking that its darn dumb for sumone to start running for their live. hoping n praying to mother mary to guide me home, safe and sound. i was drenched. like a chicken ready to be bbq-ed. i was marinated in the rain.. drenched from head to toe. running n running.. i find myself really loving it.. i laughed in the rain.. hoping that i dun need to go home. its like i found the joy in my life.. to carry on this very day when the sun rise. finally i said. everything is gonna be over soon. i realised that i have very little stamina to carry on. but what kept me going was the rain. reached the void deck n saw meow. meow looked at me like a food source. i said " dun laugh at me u stupid cat!" its still raining out there. n i have to make my way to school to hand in my work. n back to work. this is gonna be a heavy reponsibility. but y do i feel intimidated? why do i feel like i m not wanted in the grp? cuz i m the youngest n the lowest? gosh.. what a day. its yet done.

Fairytales..

10:07 PM

have u ever felt expectations?? yes.. this is a super weird qn to ask but hey.. expectations.. have u ever got stressed over this word?? i have! n i m still..my point here now is that sometimes ppl expect sumthing from u but u are usually the one who expects more than the expected. how wrong right?? take live easy.. let it be n let it flow i always say. but i m so wrong now. expectations are gonna keep on going. keep on climbing if we do not follow what ppl expect and expect more from yourself giving than what others expect. m i confusing u?? thats the point.. expectations are complicating. sit back n think when u have the time. i will love to hear from u.

cheers!

Fairytales..

1:05 AM

finally... i m done with my lab report! gosh.. that took me quite some time! =) anywayz... today had real fun at work witht he new scoopies! tomorrow is yet another long day. going to watch night in the museum. i do hope i dun sleep. i m very tired now that i think i can sleep a whole 12 hrs! n someone is pissing me off big time! guess who man!! anywayz... i m happy that i m done! HAHA!!! i think its pretty crap lar. i never put in other journals except 1 of it. i think even tho i m done, i will hand in on friday only. feel so much safer if i do put in more than one journal. tho i m so lazy to do everything n anything now! oh wells... but i m definitely not lazy to go sleep now!!! so till we meet again... =)

Fairytales..

11:50 PM

heyy people of the world!!! i m now up up up n going!!! =) yes... alrights now.. the main point here is to tell u all I M PROMOTED!!! yeah!!! n who should i thank!?!? HAHA!!! oh yes... she she she.. n he he he... n him him him... n her her her... oh wells... here goes the long speech!!!

1st is to LAVINIA!!!
hey darling dear! if it wasn't for u.. i will not be working at all. i will probably be a lazy piece of thing at home and growing fatter each n every day! AHAH!!! congrets to your promotion too!! i m so hopeing that ur reading this u know. hmm.. also.. i really duno how to talk to u today. u seem all so busy with everything!! like RC ppl n stuff.. feel so distance. oh wells... i just want to thank you SO MUCH for bringing me to eat this wonderful ice cream n got me to work!!! love ya lots still! =)

2nd is to uncle francis!!!
u stand by me for all this times. sorry to scream at u sometimes. HAHA! opps. u do take care.. n ur cake won!!! HAHA!!! hmm... hope to see u soon in the stores! =)

3rd to may may!!!
HEYY!! ur so my lesbian partner! HAHA! love ya lots!!! thanks for taking all my crap!!! n all my stupid actions! i duno what to tell u cuz u know everything!!! like every everything!!! okay... mayb a little thing u duno!!! but thats not the point lar! thank you so much my lesbian partner!

n to all that supported me.. not that many actually. n to the co. for letting me grow!!! love ya all lotas!

Fairytales..

5:00 PM

i'm sorry i still do..

went shopping today for clothes. got things i love.. okay.. or rather.. things i need. i m done with tut for 2106! gonna start another one. have i mentioned that? oh.. i bought the driving book today! oh man.. this is so exciting! =) HAHA!!

Fairytales..

1:00 AM

its the start of the new year.. the new school tearm starts tomorrow. gosh... its gonna be a tough year ahead. i m gonna complete my 1st year n going into yr 2 soon!!! oh no!!! i m so so so getting close to my target! i have to cheong again for the next few weeks to get my essays completed. gosh... as what jasmine will put it... welcome to collage. ARGH!!! not fun at all!!! i hope collage life can make me lose weight!! HAAH! i m done with one essay... done 3/4 of the other essay n gonna start another essay n watched one essay n dun plan to start yet! gosh... i m pretty dead eh!?!? welcome to my life! =)

Fairytales..

2:10 AM

1st entry in the new year! love it lots already! =)

made my day
made my night
made my everything so bright! =)

HAHA!!! wat a poem! its random.. its just the new year's mood! okay... now i have to make new years resolution! lets see... last yrs resolution was not accomplished! HAHA!!! i shall just stick to the same one.. HOHO!!!

happy new year!

Fairytales..