you're a mystery yourself

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

12:50 AM

i'm sure you have heard about the tragic news about the singapore dragon boat team. well.. now how does this concern me where i don't know anyone? to make matters worst, i dun even know that singapore have a dragon boat team. well.. my world appearently just revolve round netball eh? however, thats not my point now. my point is that i'm sad. n i truely am sad.

it makes me worry now. jasmine, i totally agree with you. i do worry. draw ur attention to the captain of the team. see him? yah.. look at him. he is responsible. i'm not blaming him. but now, parents will be questioning him. he went with 22 men, came back with 17 men. he feels sad. he feels bad. he feels horrible. and now, he have to explain. well.. i'm a captain myself. n its tough. but that i've been thru this. i was reading the papers today and i almost cried. somehow, i can relate to his lost. he's probably blaming himself. at least if this happens to me, i will be blaming myself. then again, its not a time to start blaming right?

i saw myself n my team going for a competition and somehow things happened. n now, i have to explain to the parents because i'm the captain. i don't know what else to say besides this. this captaincy thingy is scaring me even more. everytime when i compete and lose, its like, somehow, i feel its my fault. n when i'm not better than anyone in my team, i feel that i'm not fit to be the captain. now, does the captain have to be the best and the strongest or the person who can lead n bring the team to greater heights? i really don't know now.

just now, i ran with yanling. suppose to be a 3.4km run but i only ran 1.7km and jog the other 1.7km. i'm not proud to say it at all. to add on to this, i clocked in 12 mins (est) for 1.7km. what a looser. seriously. ha! n yanling was only slightly behind me. now.. i'm probably weak in the team. if not that, i'm probably the weakest. so now.. tell me, should a captain be the best and the strongest? or should the captain be the person who can make decisions and lead the team?

i leave u with this question.

Fairytales..

12:00 AM

i stare blankly at this blog space. gosh. what did i wanted to say? i totally forgot.

i just finished watching 2 episodes of grey's anatomy. (thank you vivian! for finding that web for me!) now i'm stuck again. maybe this will be a very long post of god know's how i'm feeling. for one i know, that i'm once again either confused or making myself confused. i still dun have the energy to start doing anything related to academic work! and to hear people finishing all the things they need to do, seeing them start on their assignments make me think and feel that i'm pretty much a slacker. so what can i say, i slack and i whine at the end of the day.

nothing much i can do now. have decided to start on something but did not managed to. once again, its a failure in the the making. wtf is going on man?! this sem is suppose to be shittyly good. but its not working. its just rubbish. yes rubbish. i haven remember the time i have the want to study. yes.. i'm that pathetic. and to add on all the drama that's happening in school.. yah, i'm not going to talk abt tt. its so drama i feel. back off and go away drama stuff!!! float to the back of my head and if possible, out of my head.

its midweek. omg.. not good. coming to the end of week 4. god knows what and how i'm going to do for my microskills. i suck at it so much that i want to skip all classes pertaining to that. now, i do realise that the classes i dun like to attend has sumthing got to do with loke. well.. is it him or the subject?! god knows man. but i know that i have tons of readings to do b4 the exam comes which is in... yupp.. soon. less then 2 mths lets just say.

so with all the drama in my life, the not wanting to start doing work, feeling oh so tired, putting on weight and yes, my love life (which is so gonna be on hold now). i came up with a conclusion that i'm pretty useless. i'm procrastinating. and why is this so? because i m who i m. ha. funny. now i'm rubbishing. everything is pilling up.. yes.. all the way. i haven remember the time i got a good break. why?? i want to not do anything, or rather, do the things i love and thats about it. mayb go for a run alternate days, play netball, swim, tan, shopping without worrying the outflow of cash. yes.. thats the way it should be! but no.. i'm rushing my homework, trying to start on revision, trying to think of how to start on homework. i'm lazying and slacking.

coming to the end of the year, it keeps me thinking more now. so.. whats the highlight of my life if someone ask me to make a video about my life? ha... its boring trust me. i cannot remember anything good the happening. maybe is because of the mood i'm in now.

so now, a little note to jasmine yeo..
i'm getting scared as the days come nearer to you coming back to sunny island. i don't know why. maybe its because of all that happened last year. even with u assuring me that u will be okay if its just hanging out watching me do work n u doing nothing, i'm not convinced. i'm not confident with myself and i think i will screw up this vacation of yrs again. so... i duno what to do now.. talk to me yeah!?

what i really hope now is me getting down to do some productive work. i haven feel exhausted for a period of time already. its time again to feel tired and wear out.

THE END

Fairytales..

1:02 AM

its funny how i can once again talk to you. i mean, i feel so relax talking to you now. maybe this is what people call friends. when one thing turns good, theres always another thing that will start to bother me. lets see.. hmm... i think i will move on. moreover, moving on is good right? i was disappointed once. and i thought that it will only be once. i was SO wrong. well.. the 2nd time, i was not hoping for anything but u magically pop up! which is nice, go my hopes high!! and guess what? i did not talk to you. whats up with the super cold shoulder!? and now, its the third time.. i was hoping everything will be fine but hmm..i guess not. why are u avoiding me!!! (at least i assume that you ar)

and when everything seems to be going upside down, i get to be with someone who is a stranger to me but not. i thank god for that. now, do i make sense?! hannah n dylan come down to dempsey today. DYLAN!!! continue to smell nice!!! =D

so heres my schedule for this week and nx week and MANY weeks to come.. its a routine.. with some changes everywhere.

monday- school 2-5pm

dempsey 530-12am

tuesday- school 9-5pm

wednesday- school 9am-10pm

thursday- school 9am-5pm

friday- GWC 1030am-430pm

training 6-8pm

saturday- piano 9am-3pm

sunday- piano 10-1045am

and in the mids of all these.. there are revisions, homework, projects to do! i'm screwed!

working with xin jian makes me smile!!! thank you! =D

Fairytales..

11:50 PM

NETBALL GAME! singapore vs cook island! cool man!!! what was the score? ya.. 43:45. singapore lost! =(

Jeremy and adeline's wedding!

cherish what you have. seriously!

guess who won for the netball world champs? AUSTRALIA! okay. shut up chermaine!

Fairytales..

11:18 PM

seems like ages since i last blog actually. haha! so heres a post! back dates stuff 1st yah?! =D

Counselling: wanxin and christine! gosh.. i tell you.. my counselling skill SUCK big time! have to work on it man!!! microskills in week 5!!! argh!!! 2 more weeks!!!!!

that day i went to my uncle's place. and look.. i think its pretty. not the best but its great yah? singapore eh! look at the sky! =D

and during John's class. hmm.. his class is ALWAYS boring. and to add on, its STATS! so yah.. super boring. BUT... he have to do some form of promotion eh? n thats when i woke up to listen to him talk! well.. that was wat's on the screen for say 10 mins of break. hmmm..

when waiting for janice father to send us home.. i took this pic of REALLY tired and high ppl! haha!!! xinjian, ivan and janice! =D
last photo for the day, christine brings out the child in me ALL the time! haha!!! look!!! childhood cookies i call it! pretty eh?! =D n yummy too! HAHA!

a little update on world champs. AHAH!! the ppl who went thru with me.. thank you.. so sorry to be such a bitch eh?! grumbling about singapore LOSSING, streaming NOT working, internet connection SUCK and all others along that line. well... Singapore is not doing great man!!! they lossing BIG TIME! haha! i wish them all the best now, to not be at the bottom.. they lost to TnT! gosh.. 5 nations won them.. now lose to them.. haya..! wasted! grr.. anywayz... i choose netball.. i'm gonna feel super guilty but watever now, its netball.. i've been waiting for SO long. =)

now, to bed.. but b4 that, many assignments running thur my brain.. gosh.. brain needs to rest man! AHHHHHH.. netballing again tomorrow?! haha! vivian will prob grumble at me again!! n i will prob make noise of the sucky internet connection!

Fairytales..

9:00 PM

a total netball day today!!! woot woot!!! hmm... let see.. i woke up at 645am just to watch the match!! and haha.. the thing wasn't working! wat luck i tell u.. n u think this is already bad luck? wait till u hear how the day went! it was horribly horrible!! well.. it all started with me waking up at 645am.. yes.. blah blah.. and then, went to teach piano upstairs. woot! that was fun actually! =D and, RUSH to meet the team for the street netball game which starts at noon. and if we do not report by 1145am, we will be disqualified! and yes, we RUSHED like crazy people! -_-.. well, we met at bishan and decided to take a bus.. and TADA... there is TWO buses to take for that one bus number. and so, due tot he lack of time, we decided to CAB!! but we have FIVE people.. and so have to spilt into 2 cabs! darn it man!!! so, we reached there ON TIME!!! like noon. and the game, haha! haven start.. only started at 130pm! what luck again!!!! bad day so far eh?! =) and so, we went to warm up.. blah blah blah.. n tada..!! first game was horrible.. 8-4.. we lost. but we did play well for the other 2 games and tt got us into the next round. which is knock-out-round! hate that so much.. and we were SO UNLUCKY and got to play with XNIJ at that round. haiz.. and the team was REALLY REALLY POSITIVE!!

hannah: okay!!! violet.. we playing with u know who?!
violet: TP?
chermaine: no.. HAHA! (shows X with her fingers)
hannah: we playing with XNIJ!!!
violet: *shock expression*
chermaine: well.. haha!!! we are gonna lose!
hannah: haha!! yes.. lets just pack up and prepare to go.
violet: good idea!!!

see how the team works?! haha!!! super positive! *shake head* anywayz.. we did well with XNIJ!! scored 3 goals!! all violet putting the balls in! good job violet! =D hannah thot that IF we put in ONE goal, it will be good.. but we put in THREE!!! yayness! HAHA!

okay now.. so for participation, and the organization taking our money.. and us doing a good good good deed, we got a cert of participation! =)

and this is the team.. (xinyi!! i'll photoshop u in!!! with ur NUS student card pokay?! haha!) before the game with XNIJ! see.. violet is cooling off already!

brilliant day!!! tomorrow, Singapore vs Cooks Island at 710am!! gonna watch b4 driving!! =D

Fairytales..

11:38 PM

end of SECOND week of school!!! and this is the CRAZY stuff we just love love love to do! =D somehow, everything revolves round snacks! i should invest on another teddy! -grins-

wan xin is taking a break!!!! she's having snacks! gosh!!! ITS A BEAR WAN XIN! haha =)

during counselling tut last week, leovine became snacks. the ALL GROWN UP.. and AFTER HIBERNATION snacks! haha! =D he looks like snacks! really!
OMG!!!! i get the hottest gossips from her!!!!! HAHAHAH! about my cousin! haha!!!! =D
ahahahah!!!! i did this when ai ni was teaching 3101 tut!!! AHHAHA! was super funny! mayb thats why there was a break not long after! =P told u snacks was cute!
lastly... VIVIAN!!! yes.. he is potential snacks number 3! =D the ALL GROWN UP from the other all grown up version! =D

so now... thats pretty much what happen for week 2! gosh... this is fast man!!!! =( oh yes... n not forgetting ALL the mega assignments pilling up... and all the mega mega readings!!! gosh.. okay.. i have to go start now! tata! =D

Fairytales..

10:33 PM

okay.. right now.. only one thing is going through my brain.. "are you avoiding me?!" right.. i really hope ur not avoiding me for God knows what reason. gosh.. i hate it when things happen the way it happens and it all seems like its my fault when i clearly not know where and how it was my fault. seriously. i'm not confussed as how i used to feel. ha. i'm pokay.

so, recently, there are many things tt gave me a huge shock of my life. i started.. one of which is this one person that i feel.. seemingly seems to avoid me. ha. hmm.. the other is that, something strange is happening to one of my friend which sets me thinking. on top of all these things happening, i have school work! which i can finaly start sitting down to study. right.. so chermaine is gonna go study. -_- haha! well.. yes.. iw ill have to start soon. week 2 of school is starting to heat up! gosh.

and off course.. netball.. just got the fixtures of this sunday's game. any one wanna go down to support me?ha.. i mean my team. =D and yes.. i just subscribe to world netball champs! gosh.. 30 bucks! and i invested on a piano book! classical pieces. just got the urge to play piano alot now! HAHA! =) well.. thats it from me..

engaging in asian geographic

Fairytales..

2:21 PM

FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL!!

crazy things happen man!! okay.. so, i brought snacks, christine brought matlocks, lavinia brought monkey and frights! n yes.. wan xin plays with ALL of them!! but decide that snacks and matlock should fight for the throne! -_- haha! and so.. this is what wan xin did during tutorial..

we'll see what happens to wan xin after therapy! mayb when swinger joins in.. haha! yes vivian? bring swinger!! =D

and so.. yesterday marks the end of first week of school. looking forward to more!! n JASMINE!!! we wore almost the same thingy. same combi! woot.. no one actually realise the same colour combi except for vivian!! and we decide to take a photo of this wonderful colour combi. (so not planned! haha!)

lastly.. strawberry pocky!!! omg.. my love for the longest time ever! HAHA! point to take note.. NEVER offer pocky to chermaine n christine during john tan lectures! we will take a bunch out and tada!! return a miserable bit back to you! woot woot! =D

and so.. the end of first weel of school. how tiring.. n boring. hmm.. back to piano now.. its the BIG day tomorrow! =D training later... yayness~

Fairytales..

8:36 PM

so.. i haven been blogging for some time now. have been busy. was i really that busy? ha. mayb i'm just lazy.. well.. 1st week of school. done. 7 more weeks to end of school. how fast can this thing get! this sem.. is much better. and it will only get better! =D assignments are starting to pile..gosh.. piano exam is in a couple of days time. thank God i have one day off! n training tomorrow!

been having back pains recently. gosh.. i duno man. one of my friend told me that it can come about cuz i jump too much. hmm.. thinking about it, haha! yah boy.. i've been jumping for 10yrs now! -_-

so.. i've decided to go for trng tmr and decide again if i should see a doc or not. okay.. this sentence will actually soon kill me. HAHA! =)

Fairytales..