you're a mystery yourself

Friday, June 29, 2007

6:00 PM

so.. i have finally decided to blog after not deciding to blog for the longest time ever again. oh wells. these days, its nothing much lar. really. just me n friends, doing what i miss out for god knows how many mths. =) so.. went to the beach, (photos will be up when i get it from xiaoxinyi) having netball, driving and catching up on sleep which i m so lack of. i was even dreaming about food in my dream... mayb i'm deprived of it too! HAHA! oh wells. so.. some stuff are better left untold. some stuff just need some working on. but overall, i think everything in this world is just that. some will be happy, some will be sad, jealous, stunned, stonny, cheeri and blah blah. oh wells. what m i talking? i'm going back to drea abt food. bye.

Fairytales..

11:19 PM

forget about the previous post. now its time to feel confused. i've been on this essay almost the entire day. how can one do a 3000 word essay in 2 days? i really have to stop complaining and get down to work right? but know what? i've made up my mind to do as much as i can today and to get the extension tomorrow. n if i do fail this module which i think i will, i will go appeal. so dumb right? yeah. sometimes i think i m really dumb lar. i mean, i tried u know. n what do u think of me passing when i only went for like 1 day lecture which is like 2 lectures altogether? n the total number of lecture is like 8! wthack man! -grr-

i'm so pissed of by myself right now. actually, i duno if i'm angry or not. i'm just confused basically. i mean.. its the deadline tomorrow! i have so far NEVER do anything the nght b4 the deadline! so freaking screwed! wthack! but anywayz, i think i will still have to go do it. i'm actually done with one long paragraph. its just about 4 more paragraphs only ya? oh watever!-grr-

so now, what i really gotta say is that i think i m screwed! big time screwed! thats about it! bye!

Fairytales..

11:29 PM

like seriously, i m broken. thank you.

Fairytales..

11:00 PM

so.. what have i got left to study for brain? hmm..... chapter 4 n 16. m i gonna study it? still thinking abt it. i did not touch ear n eye!!! OMG~ so... i've decided that i need my dose of starbucks tomorrow.. so i'll be treating myself to u-know-what b4 exam! =) can't wait for tomorrow.. one mre paper will be down than.. n left with STATS! this exam week seems REALLY LONG! i duno why man!!! n n .... i duno y.. but brain seems really easy to understand. its getting me a little worried cuz i think i know it all but later i go for the exam i duno anything. HAIZ! its uncle russell man!!! anything can happen! =\

oh oh... to the special someone, i just realise that its been more than 1 yr alr. thanks for everything. all the encouragement, all the talks, all the ways to handle rubbish ppl.. =) no words can explain how i feel for this one yr knowing u! =) thank you. and how time flies man! one year! so much happened eh? =) OH NO!!! samuel's driving is today!! i wonder how it went! heh? (i hope u pass i hope u pass!) n YES!!! tomorrow's Ruby's birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! =) have a blast eh?

i've got nothing much to post besides how i really love the past. =) if there is no past, there will be no present right? n i love the times i love u! =)

Fairytales..

6:41 PM

so... recently i have been thinking of one person. if u guys would know, its the person who sticks to me in sec school.. yes okay. dun laugh.. i m just thinking why she dun call any more. or like talk to me online or sumthing. whats up man?!?! why m i thinking abt her these days? oh man!! i think i m nuts! hmmm...

so.. i have been studying brain n behavior. right... i hope its not that difficult lar. it seems like i know everything lor. i also duno what to study. haiz. okay. i think i m getting a little thinking the wrong side now. gosh. i think i will go read everything n not skip chapters again! okay now.. so i said that i m gonna score for both stats n brain right? thats when i m studying it. but i HAVEN start on stats. okay. the ramdom burst again. -.- alright..

ttfn-

Fairytales..

9:14 PM

so.. i just watched jump in! gosh.. way cool man!!! =) so.. now.. who wants to join my double dutch team? HAHAHA! =) nothing much to blog actually.. its gonna be all about studying for stats and brain n behavior. so much life ar! HAHAHAH!

alright now.. ttfn

Fairytales..

11:50 PM

so.. todays game wasn't so bad. we actually won. but its marginly. gosh.. 19-21 to us! =) good job team.. today marks the end of st theresa's netball alumni team. we as a team decided to rename ourself n dun feel so tied down with the school. good job guys, taking into consideration that this is the 1st game of the yr, also, we did not train for this thingy, to win, i think we really did a great job. n chermaine is proud to say that she has put in 2 goals for this season. and what season we playing for again?? yes.. summer time. haha! wth? =P i'm self amusing myself. =P so i decide not to eat b4 the game, causing serious tummy ach now. n i think i controlled my shit for too long that there isn't any shit now. gosh.. what m i doing man?

on a good good note, i had my dose of caramel machiato. =) its wonderful. n lets just not talk about the exam. no matter how i insist that i must not have my coffee, i still have it. n now, yes... i hope with me not eating SO much, i do actually lose weight. okay. its not the best way to lose it but hey... =) let keep it as such. =) now now... justin n i celebrated christine's birthday today.. really impromptu man! its like... "lets get her balloons!" n.. lets get her a cake which turned out to be "lets get mudside!" hurhur.. okay.. n so much for the relightable candles which really almost smoke the entire starbucks. n not forgetting to mention, the chance of it watering cuz of the smoke detector. right.... =P

n so.. today end off well.. it started suckly but wth? i guss there will be moderation. i just hope i pass.. thats about it. i hope they take into consideratin that WE had only 3 days of lecture and..... tuts were pretty useless lar. anywayz.. now i'm happy that its down to 2 papers. -grins- n i'm so ready to score for both! =)

n so... todays game, on the way home, i chance upon the netball newsletter. hmm... yes.. BOTH my pri school mates are in this mths newsletter. one being a national team player. n the other is a NSL umpire. what the hack.. okay. since......... chermaine REALLY can't be a national team player.. (what a dream) i shall TRY to be a super good umpire. =) is there such a thing called national umpire? (beams) oh wells... =) i'll make it someday.

and so... i think i still want it badly. i think i can't let go the fact that its imporsible. mayb i've learnt that things can never be impossible. u can say, i want it so badly that i think the impossible is possible. n so.. when the night is getting bad with all the toughts of being in nat team, i've jasmine who really makes me cry and samuel.. on the other hand makes me laugh.. =)
n so...

Chermaine~ i think... says:
now my route is close to be in nat team.
Chermaine~ i think... says:
lets just put it this way... i'm building castles in the air/clouds..
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
nice puffy little castles =)
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
no lah
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
determination will bring u through.

n.............

Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
nvm lah
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
maybe u can liek set up ur own branch of ice cream stores
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
hehe
Chermaine~ i think... says:
i guess i still can't let go the fact that i'm nothing close
Chermaine~ i think... says:
HAHAHAHAHA!
Chermaine~ i think... says:
will u be my partner?? u can sponsor me money
Chermaine~ i think... says:
=)
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
i no money
Come on man! show me what is hell! just bring it on. says:
army pay me very little

seriously, i thank ppl like him to be part of my life. n here's the other person..

-jAs-I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I am with you! says:
dont compare youself relative to others
-jAs-I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I am with you! says:
i love you no matter who you are
-jAs-I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I am with you! says:
coz i like your personality not how much you can achieve or want to achieve..
-jAs-I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I am with you! says:
and this time i'm really meaning it
-jAs-I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I am with you! says:
not just saying it

so.. i love it when i have ppl like that in my life. =)

updated: 01:37 AM

Fairytales..

2:21 PM

so finally.. tomorrow will be the day i sit for sensation n perception. not a good thing to sit for tho. i duno y.. mayb the paper will be easy?? ya ya?? hurrr.. or lets take it as the paper will be so tough like how uncle russell will set it to be! hurrr...! alright now.. so whats left to do is to read the entire text. hurrrrrr! not good eh? =( n so.. i'm left with 3 chapters-6,8,9. which i decide that i can finish it by today. BUT.. the usual me.. panic SO much that i'll prob not finish it. gosh.. will someone calm me down? like now! =X and i've decided that chapter 4,10 and 16 are not important! can someone now knock sense into me? (knock knock).roar......

and so.. today's mood is slightly better.. slightly. mayb cause i'm easily pleased? mayb caused someone somehow talked to me last night. oh wells. why do i have to be happy n feel slightly better only when someone talks to me? -its not gonna work btw. its taken n gone! at least, as far as i understand.- so now.. its back to work. just 3 chapters eh? n tomorrow's paper is just MCQ eh? i think the MCQ thing is n.o.t making me feel any better. how about the fact that.. "i can come up with any questions from the text" its ONE HUNDRED QUESTIONS plz.! n the text is T.H.I.C.K. plz! omgomgomg.. okay.. SOMEONE REALLY HAVE TO CALM ME DOWN.. i wish i have fairy odd parents where they grant my wishes. the 1st wish will be that i remember every single thing in the SnP text.

and so.. when i was grumbling to MYSELF about how quiet my phone is.. i received a call.. the wonders of a phone call.. n when i hear my darling jesse maccartney singing, i just light up. sounds wrong right? HAHA! its suppose to be like that. anywayz. so the call.. tho its nothing like "hi chermaine.. i'm thinking if u wanna go for coffee..."(btw.. i crave for caramel macchito now) or "hi chermaine.. how the study coming abt? are u finish yet? oh. dun stress eh?" tho its NOTHING of that sort, i'm still pleased with my wish coming thru. its pretty freaky tho. HAHA! =) now chermaine is happy.. n.. yes!!! one mre chapter to go n i'll be done! done studying.. but m i really ready for the exam tmr? =X the only reward that i get for this week will be the netball game tomorrow. n perhaps, if i find the paper managable, i will reward myself to a cup of nice cold caramel macchito. -grins- i just have to pass the paper. thats abt it. just answering 50 questions correctly. just the simple?? right....
updated: 04:28pm. =)

i'm done with sensation n perception. do u see this? this entire post is abt this freaking module. i'm really hoping that i will pass.. dun hope much. just pass will do. i don't want to do this module ever again. i really hope too that the ppl who is marking the paper realise that we did this module in just 3 day! n that the tutorial suck big time cuz SHE did not go thru the text or anything.. but instead, going thru journals n journals that helps us with the OTHER 50%. HELLO!!! have 3 hrs of tut and only use 1 1/2hr. oh man!!! i feel screwed. i hope n wish that everyone feels the same as me too and i hope i pass! i just looked thru the sample paper and i realise like ten qns i only can ans like 2! how pathetic!!! i studied like a pig the other 2 days n today! 3 days eh!!! n.... argh! okay.. i feel pissed.. i feel horrible. i need someone to make me happy. -is that a hint!- what the hack!
updated: 08:34pm

till we meet again tonight! =)

Fairytales..

10:41 PM

heard the new NDP song yet.. gosh.. sounds so patriotic somehow. oh wells.. will be working i hope.. =) but i'll be back to watch the parade! HAHA!

so.. for the past few days, things did not go as plan. faced lots of disappointment. nth new for me eh? in my life, i've been facing thousands of disappointment. it has become part of the daily thing. so.. i;m not gonna say whats the disappointment, but i'm gonna say that it has taken me backwards n think. n when i think, everyone stands still.

i have nothing to blog. just wanting to type something down b4 i head down to studying 3 more chapters b4 i call it a day. and tomorrow, will have to tackle another 5 chapters i figure. oh wells. nth new about me. only now that i find sensation and perception interesting. thats not the point.

i still long for that someone to talk to me. to ask me at the very least how m i doing. or when i ask, give me a reply. i'm waiting. but the thing now that brings me to think also is my grp of friends. are they really there for me? mayb an odd number is not a good thing. and mayb being in a private school is really taking its place. having exams when everyone is having breaks. having to study and squeeze every single information into my brain b4 the exam and to only have one week of hols b4 school starts again. so than.. do my friends really understand what m i going through? mayb again, odd number don't work out at all.

so now, i only long for 1 thing. to hear from my friends. and not to feel like i m giving up my every inch of energy to u all. i'm drained. but i still have to carry on. but will u be there for me when i need you?

Fairytales..

10:51 AM

i just have to blog now. i duno why.mayb its exam? envt psych. lets just stop there. now yesterday night i dreamt of the person who does not talk to me like how we use to. u see.. i think i miss that person. oh bother. yesterday night ended off with a very dissapointed note. i'm really sorry to have such post late into the night. but i really have to say it out. jas.. call me soon. i'm still confused tho. not abt exam... if i'm confuse abt exam, HAHA.. i'm pretty much dead eh?

so.. its pammy's bday today.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM!! will see ya all after my exam. now its back to revision. what a rubbish post. i will upload photos of tonight when i come back n fill u guys in again. i think now, the only person to read my blog is jasmine. how sad eh? =P

PHOTOS!!!

pammy's birthday started with ONLY 4 ppl!!! missing.. ME!

and when i came.. its just OH SO SWEET!

and so the birthday girl celebrates..

and her friends all go crazy with her!

these are SOME of the photos only. did't take much also lar!!! WHY!?!??!?! cuz we are called back for duty suddenly! this time, its cathay!! why do we have to be so loyal man?!?! we are like doctors sometimes.. off-day also must go back for operation. sighs... it was not a great experience tho. OH WELLS! tomorrow will be a oh so better day. (ps. it can't be any better cuz i'll be studying sensation and perception.)

so.. talk to me now. u haven answer my question yet.

(updated)- 01:10AM

Fairytales..

11:55 PM

and so... tmr is envt paper. i duno if i'm panic or what. i'm thinking i'll do well. but at the same time, i think i will not make it this time round. its hte same confusion i get all the time b4 exams! haiz...

i'm really confused now. its nothing gotta do with exams. its more like.. i'm thinking.. what i did for ppl's good, for the team's good andd stuff along that line.. was it all worth it? seriously speaking, i sometimes find ppl really really really such an asshole! like tell me that everything is gonna be fine and after, tell me that something else. so..do u respect me therefore u let me make my own decisions or do u just have nothing to say cuz i'm demanding? u see.. how things go round n round? yah.. confused me. i really dun understand eh. why do i feel so much for ppl that i dun need too? now.. do i sound like i'm showing myself self pity? just one msg.. n it made me think. so hard that i lost every want to study. i still have tmr right?!?! like paper is at 2pm only mar! WTH.. what kind of thinking is this! i ought to be shot now! seriously. than again, why do i feel the need to prove to u? ur nothing to me. okay.. mayb not exactly.

so tell me.. star players cannot be umpires? or is it we are horrible therefore we cannot have a star player umpiring for us??

Fairytales..

2:01 AM

phew.. what a day. did not study as much as i want to. but i think i may have study more than enuf for the exam. hang on.. did i just say i think i study enuf for the exam! gosh... okay. i duno whats happening. its like i really think its enuf.. but i'm scared cuz i think its not enuf. its the same as i think i know it all but i dun kinda thing! haya! so fan!!! oh yes.. monday is approaching means chermaine exam officially starting. this is not good!!!!!! i duno y eh... but it seems like i'm not as panicky as compared to last sem which is pretty wrong.. cuz this sem is like WORST than the last one. okay thats enuf of semester grumbling and exam non-panicking. HAHA! =P

okay now.. yesterday went to dempsey to celebrate justin's GF bday. what a nice time they had.. well. as for me, i had fun.. but not very fun lar. its like i'm out but i want to be home to sleep (or study). its like wth lar! grr.... anywayz... i'm down to studying today. done with most of it. just hope now that on monday i will actually remember everything.

so monday i will be missing out on a sushi feast! gosh... i crave for sushi today. in the end, i got a packet of curry rice. right....... so sushi-fied eh?? AHHAHAHA! after will be dempsey.. should i go?? i really wanna go but should i??? i'm confused. not cuz its dempsey.. nor is it cuz its exam week.. but arr... sometimes i think i have to not get so confused or to make such decisions. FINE... the decisions are not hard to make but hey!!! its talking abt ur future n friends here now!!! n yes... this is important to me!!! if i dun go cuz of exams, what do u think i will think??? my friends?? haiz!!! i;m confused man!!!! then if i go??? what do u think i will think??? then what if i fail my fri paper??? its SENSATION N PERCEPTION on friday!!! not a good thing to end start off the weekends.

anywayz.. thats really enuf of grumbling... get going now!!! TATA!

i still dun understand why i can't talk to u. or rather, why i talk to u n u dun talk to me like how u use to. do u think we will go back to the past?? it was hard to get to know u again. are u willing to see everything crumble and fall and wait for years to past b4 realising that what we did was wrong? i guess its my own perception. talk to me soon......

Fairytales..

10:17 PM

so.. driving was fine. but that does not mean that the grumpy instructor of mine will be happy and ungrumpy ya? HAHA! driving was fun!! stall only once cuz accelarated too lightly. instructor was funny today.. saying things like "u want toget killed ar?", "u drive like riding a horse eh.. very fun hor?? very very fun right?", "i tell u ar.. u still dun stop when say stop.. u fail IMMEDIATELY!", and and... the funniest thing.. "u swing the car somemore.. later hit other car u pay $1500!" n he goes on about the insurance thingy which is konfuzzlling. n n ... he say BYE BYE to me today!!! like OMG!! i'm gonna get all HDs for my exam man!!! =P

okay.. so now i've actually gotta go study but i decided to watch corwin's quest. pretty world which is depleating. wat a pity. help save the worlddddddd!!!!!!!!! -scream- oh yes.. i'm gonna go down to dempsey tonight with darling dearest mummy lavinia. hoho~ its gonna be fun eh!! its dempsey!! oh yes.. dempsey.. hmm... pam n xinyi is gonna be transfered. what luck man! we just got cliqued!! like JUST!! n now they are gonna declique. sad-

so.. 2 more lectures to revised for environment psych. n i think i'm quite dead. think i know everything but what the helll, i think i know nothing. stress again. why why why always i have to feel like that during exam ar?!?! so fan!!! grr..

anywayz, thats about it.. i'm gonna watch tv and continue to study. toodders!

Fairytales..

12:55 PM

had the study retreat!!! its pretty productive man!!! HAHA! i love it. anywayz.. i will be happy if its one more day. tho i did not meet my quota for the retreat, i'm happy that i'm productive. anywayz, i did take pictures but there is this ONE pic that i really like. HAHA!!! =)

introducing vivian the buddha! =)

Fairytales..

10:43 PM

hello!!! m blogging again after a little little truma from studying! HAHA! okay.. i've got an exciting week up ahead man!!! study retreat starts tomorrow. than after, will be justin's gf bday. n its at dempsey! so exciting. i wanna go!!! but.. yes. 3 days from fri will be envt psych exam.. i hope during the retreat i will make use of my time fully!!! =) anywayz.. i will be blogigng when i'm back. so yes.. TTFN !!! =)

Fairytales..

10:27 PM

FINALLY!!! a breather!! phew.. tough week i tell ya! gosh.. nv had such trouble doing assignments! thanks christine for helping me do some illegal stuff! HAHA~ n yes.. its AFFAIR's birthday today!!! yay!!! i hope she will love it! =) oh... i have only 2 more assignments to go n i will be done with assignments. but thats not the best case senario when its together with exams! so hate it! oh wells~ hmm.. chalet is coming!!! i will be productive!! muahahah! i so hope everything is gonna turn out right this sem.

yes yes.. chermaine's hopes are being crushed into tiny bits! no umpiring!! which only means that she will not be an official umpire till like in sept! everytime my heart will bleed when things just dun go my way. i think i will have to hope less and think more. sept is the nx one. i'm gonna fish out time man!!! now.. its exams! how i wish i cleared my piano the other time round. sighs.. if only.. than i will definitely take the sept umpiring. wait for meeeeeeee~

i wanna tell u how much i want to talk to u. but i just don't dare to. i want to know how u have been doing. what have u been doing. do u actually remember me?

soon, exams will be over.. n i'll be heading down to the zoo! people!!! go zoo with me!!! its my natural habitat i suppose! =P HAHA! i want to go dempsey too!!! pammy's bday will be there!!! wat a lovable thing! AHHA!! i miss everyone now. sigh.. hope all of ya are doing great! ELIZA NG YUJUN!! can u like tell me how ur doing!?!?!??! thankyou!

Fairytales..