you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, December 31, 2006

11:13 AM

i m loving every single time i dream of u. =)

Fairytales..

1:17 AM

i wait n wait... n hopefully, one day, i will find the answer to all my questions. to how unfair the world out there can be. to all the misunderstandings. to all the complications that hides at every corner of the streets. one day.

shit!!! okay.. whats a word to start off with. yesterday, i had training. OMG i tell u.. i m so tired after that. why!?!? HAHA!!! we did a 2.6km run. okay... my stamina suck big time thats y 2.6km is like freaking tiring lar. anywayz... so proud of yang yan!!! she's like wow!!! yupp.. try playing ball with her now! =) n today.. the team had post xmas gathering at hannah's. boy it was good!!! lots of fun n yes!!! hannah's lae jokes.. n ms mak is soon learning n catching up. they 2 make good comedians man!!! =) woot!

joke 1: what did sushi A tell sushi B? (by hannah!)
ans: wat-sa-bee..
joke 2:hannah ask- i still can't fig out why is violet wearing red shoes with blue top!?!?
ms mak ans- cuz blue n red gives u......
hannah- er... purple??
ms mak- no.. it gives u violet!!!!

well done ms mak!!! thats the lamest joke i EVER hear!!! HAHA!

okay... P-A-N-I-C-B-U-T-T-O-N on.... HELPPPPPP!!!!!!!! i need help for tut assignment!!! its the only module that i so totally interested in that i think i will be able to get HD for it. okay.. sounds pretty wrong... chermaine not so smart... change... its that only module that i think i will get a D in!!! please... anyone.. help me for senario 3-5!!! P-A-N-I-C!!!

Fairytales..

11:58 PM

finally blogging again. know how school give breaks?? they r usually not breaks. they are more like time to complete ur work and time to catch up breaks. i hate breaks.. but love them somehow. contradicting?? yupp.. i am.

christmas disappers in a flash. no difference. only thing different is that some friends and i went to work and that we went to drink. party?? nah.. not much.. just a little. but oh wells. =) but i love this xmas!!! may surprises! but stil... no mistletoe.. =( love xmas still!!!

a partriage in a pear tree...

Fairytales..

3:45 AM

senario 1:
i inspire
i aspire
i dream

i m just like the flames on a candle.
i stand strong for when i face the winds.
only 3 times and i m gone.
for good.
nothing will ever regain the flames in me.
nothing will be back to its normal place
where i m on the same candle on the same wax on the same burning string.

after 3 strong winds, i m gone.
i was...
inspired,
aspired,
dreamed.

from above... a very good example is the netball team. so much i did. so much i hoped. so much i prayed. what did i get in the end?? losing everything that i once dreamed of having. overnight. my msn nick: "i am inspired and i will" no longer.

senario 2:
have u ever encounter people who are super whinny?
i once think that whinning will get me what i want.
i used to whin my guts out for everything.
now..
i only want to shut the whinning up.
immediately please!!!

i have friends who whin to get their way. it suck. tho i did it b4. whinning... i duno how to explain the goodness of whinning. i have friends who whin every single time n STILL get bfS n yes... showered with TONS of blessings! tell me the goodness of whinning please!

senario 3:
let me tell u my weeks work..
do essays,
work,
celebrate xmas,
go out with friends.

let me tell u what have i done this week..
did my essay,
worked,
celebrated xmas,
went out with friends.

what else have i not done??
oh yes.. go out with mummy.
dun wanna talk about it.
i would rather u kill me for that.
seriously.

i have done what i have to do n thats it. i m done!

senario 4:
people to please...
my parents,
my friends,
my boss,
customers,
my school work,
and most importantly- myself.

-i hate it. i m serious.i have to please my parents cuz i was such a losser in sec school who freakingly never get into JC. at least for me.. i know that i was a freaking losser!
-i have to do well at work and tada! i did... i m promoted! who do i 1st tell?? my parents! r they proud?!?! my backside! which side u want!??!
-i have to please my friends. to be someone else but me. why?? cuz the freaking world is like that!!! social acceptence my friend! i m stressed up when it comes to friends! cuz everyone is not themself... its hard n i freakingly hate it when it comes to friends who r freakingly demanding!
-my school work!! tell me about it. i m slogging my freaking ass off here... mayb not as much as any other ppl in my class... but i m trying my freaking best here to bring distinctions home. n if i really did... what will my parents say?? "y never get higher distinctions?!?!" to hell with it!
-myself!!! this is the part where i totally feel like a freaking losser!!! seriously! why!?!? look at my freaking netball team... what happened to it!?!? yes.. some ppl who r freakingly committed! thanks for standing by me ALL THE TIME! look at my school work... yah.. total disappointment! i feel like shutting off the entire world for a day or 2. i see no freaking point to give in to ppl anymore. TOTALLY POINTLESS! what do i get in the end?!?! "chermaine... can u please...","chermaine... why u did not..." shut up morons!

don't give me tags that says chill or what so ever. come up with something new for goodness sake! i feel so bitchy now! who cares!?!? do u!?!? F-ed up! dun even pity me for my life or the way i freakingly think of myself as a losser! cuz the fact is... i m not living to my own expectations! i dun even have the face to tell people how good i m doing in uni or how established i m in netball.

Fairytales..

1:00 AM

remember how i ever told u that one person can change your life? yupp.. someone have totally came into my life again.

remember how i ever told u that one word can change a person's perception on someone or issue?? yupp.. it happened to me again.

remember how i ever told u that one action can change a person think of the other? yupp.. it happened to me again!

this is all the things that happened in my life that i want to share. the ups n downs of life.. being in uni and most importantly, how one person can change many things to life. remember how i told u that this teacher change the way i think of a subject? yupp... how i m now, being so interested in psychology is also because of this one teacher. okay.. lecturer. from her lectures, i learned that one action, one sentence, can keep the class awake the entire time!!! never ever feeling that 3 hrs is dreading! someday chermaine will be! =)

i have had a rough day. pretty rough actually! =( did tons of log cake. felt super fed up with francis cuz of log cake. got aggitated with cleaning the store n serving indecisive customers! log cakes are going on great man!!! tons left to do! wonder when will i ever have a break of cakes! anywayz... the really fun part was to work with mayvina n eliza and also shopping with mayvina! =) tho i was like dying from my overweight bag thanks to my laptop which did not came in handy in the end.

can you believe?? my tutor did not come today. she thot that there is no class. so funny eh! waste my time. but duing the course of it.. its really enlightening. i get to see the inside of the academic.. i got to see how things work in the school. also.. i kinda feel good that i brought the matter up. can't stand my tutor from the very 1st day i knew her!! now things are at thes junction.. i can't turn back the clock. i can only place my trust in everyone. to the AD n the SA! my results lies in their hands for now.

now its back to work! should i do it tomorrow?!!!?!? nah... i will fulfill the uni critiral of sleep. HAHA!!! 5 hrs! =P

Fairytales..

1:30 AM

what a day! its been raining for consecutively 3 days!!! omg!!! n it always rain cats n dogs.. then ants n ladybuggs.. then rihno and elephants!!! gosh!!! n i think may may is the jinx of it all! =X anywayz... i worked the longest today!!! till 12am! yes!!! may may, francis n i worked on log cakes! n we have a target of 54 log cakes to do!! n a 2 kg cake by this friday! gosh... okay... thats pretty much all for work! now for school... i m STILL not doing anything!! i m STILL stuck at piagetian theory! i m STILL panic-ing.. oh... being super random now.. i love sunflower perfume! gosh.. its great! hint... be nice n buy for me! =) i m gonna have the LAST tut with that lecturer! YEAH!!! hate her man! i so want to know whats she up to tomorrow!! yawns... alrights now... i better head to my lovely bed n have a lovely sleep in this lovely rainy cold yet nice to sleep night!!!

toodders!

Fairytales..

9:08 AM

i'm laying alone, with my head on the books...

i m so serious about that lar! i m alone i school now. its like 9am n my class starts at 10am. i was here earlier tho. HAHA! i m so hard working right? no choice lar. my class really knows how to stress me up. wanted to do my work yesterday but in the end, wet out with my aunt n uncle n baby aden! =) oh wells... not the most amazing thing happened. actually.. the "outing" was alright. pepper lunch-ed. yawns actually. (OH!!! this girl in my class is here too!!! wonder y is she here so early! like her class only starts at 2pm. hmmm) my aunt bought this wonderfully cute pooh fo me. its actually a speaker. (pluck in the mp3 n listen to your fav son onur fave disney pooh and friends today!!! ) wat an ad! =P i m now breakfast-ing n blogging n thinking how in the world must i start to do my lab report n stupid IT work! i seriously hate IT man!! not the net n stuff. its the words thing. how to shadow, how to insert pic.. yeww... okay... i haven tell u guys this yet.. i m using a new laptop! =)) i love it man!!! its lie finally!! its portable! the previous one is like freaking heavy! dun think of bringing it out on a trip to your school!!! unless u really want to do weights b4 class! HAHA!anywayz... surprisingly my connection to the school's internet is working perfectly wel!!! opps to all that can't connect! HAHA! =) anywayz.. i better get going. its 910am n i have to start on doing my report! toodders!

Fairytales..

1:02 AM

its a super duper sway day today! nothing can beat today man!!!
- eliza have to go off early today. therefore, leaving may may n me to do closing n yes.. the crowd!
- when doing closing, the stupid shuttle dun want to work with us. it was stuck! was so afraid that i can't go home!
-last of all.. the pos printed out funny stuff! like funny. haiz!

so in conclusion... maymay n i r suay! things always happen when uncle francis is not working! how wonderfully nice! =X

Fairytales..

9:25 AM

i m like in class now watching is very interesting show. its like what we call child of our time now! its interesting man! but y m i blogging when its interesting?? hmm...i kinda stop n type cuz its so dark in here! bleh.. =P oh wells... i anywayz.. went out with jasmine yest. HAHA!!! its very fun man!! =P i want that dress!!! okay.. dress.. hmmm.. theres trng today! hmm.. i'm "running" it. thats the thing which is so not good! yupp.. to run trng! n not everyone reply my msg.. this is so hard! it always happens to me man! grr... yesterday too.. charissa talked to marc. right... hmm.. only one sentence from her.. keep a distance away from marc! tknx charissa! =)i really got nothing to say eh.. i m like tired!!! n yawns! =) toodders!

Fairytales..

1:25 PM

life is finally taking a turn but i m like confused as usual. nothing new eh?! HAHA!!! mayvina puts it as chermaine stepping onto 3 boats.!!! oh wells. i duno lar. see how lor... this was my answer to her. HAHA! n i grin! =P okay... jasmine is so back! n know what?? i was emotional when i see her lar! crap! OH MAN!!! it was so embarrasing! but tell me... what jasmine haven see yet!??! she is good at embarrasing me lar! HAHA! oh wells. having tut n lect tomorrow!! its 2106!!! yeah!!! i love love love 2106 please! =) n i m so proud of myself!!! i did senario 1 for 2106 tut! woo hoo!!! i love me! =P

recently, my dreams were crashed into tiny little pieces by the people who suppose to support me! know what? i m still gonna go with what i want! n i want it! in 3 years ppl!!! i will make it! i will succeed! i m serious!

still thinking.
still questioning.
still pondering.
still wondering.
it will be over pretty soon i guess! =)
need enlighterment!!! =P

Fairytales..

12:52 AM

alrights... this is a confusing day n yet fun day n yet pissing off day and yet looking forward day.. m i confusing you?!if so.. yupp.. i did my job!! well done chermaine! =) i m starting to start with my essays!!! well done again! opps... to praisy.. =P

Fairytales..

9:10 PM

the only productive thingy i did today was to go run. HAHA! yeah... i m SO productive!!! =) i got so many qns to ask. like have to call NIE n have to call netball singapore. oh man!!! only if the netball team will be considered as an ordinary club associate. like nike n zenith. so cool eh?! at least we will be having more ppl into our team. gosh.... so regreat joining alumni. know why?? cuz we r still not moving anywhere!!! gosh... yawns... i hope that can find my courage to ask ms phee how should we go now. n i need players!!! please i m begging u all... if ur in STC n want to play netball... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE joing me!!! thank you!

Fairytales..

10:45 PM

what a day!!! i tell u.. this is pretty much the best day ever. okay.. i went to work then to watch the netball game. n guess what??? singapore won again PNG!!! how wonderful right!??!?! yupp... i m totally inspired by them n give me time ppl... i will make the difference!!! =) okay... gonna start my mission impossible. (right attitude man!!! come on chermaine...) okay.. i m doing private conv... anywayz... its going to be chiong time for me n my team. i hope to find more ppl. seriously! today is a good day. it will be better if i get started with my essays!!! seriously... n it will be better if i have someone! =)

toodders!

Fairytales..

1:27 AM

have u experience one situtation that can be so similiar yet so different?
have u experience one person that can totally change you?
have u experience one time where everything not go your way?
have u experience one time where everything mentioned above happens in one day?
i have.

i m in this lala mood now that i totally just want to hug sumone n cry it out loud! its not that i m insane. i m tired..

i want to sleep.. but y m i blogging instead of sleeping?
i need to work my ass off for my degree... but y m i thinking of netball only?
i need cash.. but y m i not wanting to work?
i need to lose that tire.. but y m i not working towards it?
i need you. but y m i not saying it?
i need motivation.. where is it?
is this a time where i m in the PMS mood?!?!

gosh.. wake me up when the time comes. tell me that i m wanted. tell me that its time to work my ass off for the right thing. tell me that i will meet that one perfect someone one day. tell me that motivation is there. tell me that i got nothing to worry about. tell me now.. that everything is okay.

i want to hugg.. i want to cry. i want that one special someone. oh.. watever lar! it will never work out. i will just sleep. n hopefully. tomorrow will be a better day.

Fairytales..

11:50 PM

wats the point? tell me. i put in the effort. everyone puts in the effort. but when one don't my team is affected. or rather... i m greatly affected. i seriously don't see why i have to put in so much trust in ppl who is obviously not putting in the effort. WHY! tell me... what did i do wrong. why did i trust and keep trusting. if only i know how to let go.

netball...
a game that requires quick thinking.
its a game that requires quick reaction and speed.
its a game that needs long term training.
but most importantly..
its a game that requires passion.

i m stoning away my night,
i thot that everything will be to what i expect,
to where i want my team to go.
as u can see now,
even by wining one game,
its not gonna change the past.

see how much one person can affect me?
it makes me feel that i m not doing my job well.
how can i be a better captain?
how can i be a better player?
how can i learn to give up and,
use my status to the maximum at the same time?

being a captain is not the most glorious thing,
its not because i m the best player.
its because i have the ability to lead.
but hey!!
look at me,
am i leading the team??

to let u go or to keep you in?
that the question i ask myself continuously.
i m confused.
tell me what ur thinking.
please.. i m begging you!

netball..
its a team game,
and most importantly,
a game that requires passion.

Fairytales..

7:15 PM

finally i m blogging again. its like so many things happened during this week. or rather, from the time i last blog-ed. HAHA! oh wells. anywayz... here's a quick update. i watch open season with mayvina n eliza. its a nice show. go watch okay?? there is this weird person in my class who reports to ppl.. hmmm... i m looking forward to tomorrow's lecture. anywayz.... i have good stuff to tell... my netball team was good!!! they played well today with the match against STC. its a good game. we fought hard, we played hard. gosh. love them to bits!!1 =) we will be meeting tomorrow also. there is this game with i duno who against i duno who at kallang court i think. i think its singapore vs some other country. cool stuff eh?? HAHA! oh wells. will just see what game is it tomorrow.

sometimes in life, i just want things to happen my way. mayvina is going thru what i went thru and i think its so scary. if only stage 1 will just be stage 3. i dun care if its eventually. it will be good if it does happen. just happen will do. god will listen to our prayers right?? i will pray. pray that stage 1 is the best for me. =) i really do.

toodders!!!

Fairytales..

12:20 AM

i m finally blogging again. okay.. here goes...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA!!! sorry its a little late. opps. HAHA!
anywayz... i went to work today!!! its a sunday eh!!! n i went to WORK!! wow... praise the lord man! i m trying to be productive here... earning $$ for my future... oh gosh... its monday tomorrow. i got TWO modules to cover tomorrow. slap me hard plz... i need ppl to entertain me in the early mornings. i will be having stats class in the morning!!! gosh... i hate numbers like kinda thingys if u did not know. wake me up someone. entertain me the entire morning plz!!! my week is so planned. all the way till sunday. lets see... i will be having class from 9am-5pm tomorrow. tuesday will be having training in the morning, then watch movie with eliza n mayvina and then to work with them. wed will be havint SS1103 tut in the morning then to the game in the afternoon then home. thurs will be having lessons in the afternoon. (finally i will be watching steve irwin again!!!) friday will be having tut.. then training. then it will be working again on sat morning with eliza n mayvina coming in 1 slot later. then sunday is with my parents!!! woo hoo!!! wonderful week. n on monday... jasmine is HOME!!! =)) okay... i will be productive from now on... like seriously... so i m gonna be productive by going to sleep.. HAAH!!!

toodders! =)

Fairytales..