you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, August 31, 2006

9:45 PM

so many things happened this week. tho its only 3 days since i last posted.

my piano teacher affirmed me. i not not at all happy. to think of it, i duno if i m to be scared or to just take it easy. inside me, i m really just letting it all be. but the me outside is like really scared. why?? cuz its what society wants me to react. for a huge exam like piano and i m not a single bit scared?? that is a total lie man!! society says that i have to be scared. sometimes i really hate the society.

today in tutorial class.. pretty fun. tho i still dun understand anything about what the hell i m doing. or rather.. why m i taking psychology?? i should have taken business then i can just memorise every single shit n go for the exam at the end of the mth. do well n tata!!! why psychology chermaine?? i m so in a deep shit now. i dun have the mood to read the book. let alone studying it. somehow, i just want to make lots n lots n lots of pretty cakes.

thank god i have jasmine as a friend!! yeah!! =) somehow.. she really make everything seem so easy when she is around. shes like everywhere around me. now that i can SEE her. HAHA! u know whats the bad part to her being here?? i feel uncomfortable. shes TOO smart man!!! feel so shit.. =( i shall say something from one of the person that i so regreated hanging around with.. ''mix with the smart n u will be smart.'' yah... dun worry jas. i m not making use of ur smart to be with u. i seriously m true to u as a friend. really really!! no making use of u!! =))

somehow... things are changing all around me. u see.. its like.. ppl changing.. environment changing.. stress level changing.. somehow.. i want to serve all ties with my sec school mates n hang out completely with my JCU mates. but know what?? i dun even talk much to my JCU friends. somehow i want to feel in class. but i only taking one module lar! n know what?? i haven been going out altely. its SUPER routine. piano. assignment. work. study. uncle's place. where is FUN!!! somewhere out there.

no doubt that i have lots of fun now that jas in here for vacation. but somehow.. i feel that its not fun cuz i have this element of worry in me. like anytime.. it will explode. why?? cuz i m not done with PIANO. n i know i can't have fun if i m not done with anything. okay.. in short.. conscious eating me BIG TIME!

i want to go running. i want to play netball. but everyone is so busy. haven been trng too. not that i have the chance actually. now catherine is farfarfar away in york. WE R SHORT OF CENTRE!! argh... i hope my team will be a team in times like this. seriously.

counting down to the days of my piano exam. not a good thing. as i said.. my piano teacher affirmed me. what will happen lies in my hands. i shall quote from someone i talked to last night to end off my entry for the day...

''practise is the key to success."

to all the educators in the world..
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!

Fairytales..

10:18 PM

heyy.
long time no blog eh. HAHA!! actually not very long lar. but oh wells.

last week, i went for 2 gatherings. one is a suppose to be surprise party which so did not work. but did work for some ppl!! the other is for catherine done by her mummy. its a surprise party for her that WORKED! yupp.. see how funny cat is? love her photos that her mummy showed on slides. its wonderfully nice.=) CAT!!! be in tutus!!! HAHA! think u will look fantastic!

jasmine's surprise party end at say... 11pm.. but we talked so much that i reached home at 1215am. yupp.. n my parents did not say ANYTHING!! wonderful. surprised eh. HAHA!n its fun. real fun. but u see. at the end of the day.. its so hard to part. tho i really m not close with lemo n kim... but its really sad eh. like.. i duno when will i get to see them again. yupp. n lemo is stressing out. n kim.. HAHA!!! she will be stessing out too. soon lar. n jasmine is my other half!! HAHA!! yes.. WE R SO not TOGETHER!!! love that ''surprise'' welcome party.. love ya all! =))

catherine's party was fun too!! had the netball team down. HAIZ!! only the regulars r down. not even for this kinda stuff eh!! damn. sometimes i really wish the entire team will be down. be it for trng or for other stuff. u know. its like... a T-E-A-M!!! oh wells.. sometimes.. i just have to swollow this kinda shitty stuff.

its morning now that i m doing this post.. HAHA!! its monday! what do u think man?? i m so not done with my homework. thank god i do not have to go school today. so the entire day it to piano?? yah.. pretty much there lar. just have to finish question one n i will be done. dun even think of question 3 man... i hate that question. grr...

working tomorrow. HAIZ!!! its work man!!! not that i dread it but i m tired to continue.. i have to go on a very fast speed crash course for the next 2 mths.. n its all for piano n school. gosh. its tiring man!! i feel the tiredness already. i started last week. after katherine told me my piano exam date. i m so panic now!! like really panic! u see.. all the exams i m taking I HAVE TO PASS IT!!! i can't even choose which not to pass lor. HAHA!! thats what i usually do in sec school. (shhhhhhhh)

alrights now.. i gtg piano-ing. yewwwwww... but just 2 more mths n i got no more piano exam!! woo hoo!!! n its full time to psychology!! =))

tooodders!

Fairytales..

11:44 PM

this may sound very overated. very yesterday. very stupid. very no logic. but know what? i m still gonna say it. I MISS -POINTS-!! yes. i really really really do. point point.. i miss u. =) good for the ppl who understand what in the world i m trying to say.

i love making cakes.. ice cream cakes! love decorating them especially. so here goes...

TEACHER'S DAY CAKE!!!!!!!!!

by ben n jerry's Great World City (GWC)

Cakes r at 1/2kg- $33, 1kg-$50
we can draw for ur subject teachers.
eg. bio teacher.. design will be a skull?? brain?? what about flower?? blood cells?? yupp. along that line.
eg 1. math teacher... all the different formulas. +,-,=,X,/...
just let the scoopies know. we will DRAW THEM AS REQUEST! =))
if u wanna make cake order.. can call the GWC store or just let me know.

today's tut was stupid. i dun even understand whats going on. to eric.. so sorry to not be bubbly as i promised u the day before tht i will be bubbly to wake u up. i was too tired myself. yawns. HAHA! so so so sorry! =(

i m missing points. sometimes.. i just want to let points know.

Fairytales..

12:09 AM

-i got 2 cakes to cream tomorrow.
-i m having tutorial tomorrow morning.
-i have to play my piano badly.-
-i need sleep.
-i did shopping today with jasmine. =)
-went work n its fun.
-i think i like kuzco. HAHA!! the em-po-ra!! HAHA!

i m going off now!
tooddlers!! =)

Fairytales..

12:01 PM

you know sometimes how i want time to stop? especially now. i m having piano exam on the 22nd sept. to say i m panic now is actually an understatement. i have assignment due on the 22nd too. i m really really more more more than just panic. thank God i have got jasmine here with me. =) actually her presence here in singapore does not really affect me eh. HAHA! i still talk to her over the ''phone'' when she is in OR too. now i talk to her over the phone phone.. HAAH! one BIG difference is that i will get more radiation to my brain and that we can talk for long. i dun have to wake up like 2am to talk to her. HAAH!

assignment, piano exam, class test, tutorials, lectures, ben and jerrys, having fun, exercising, cooking, computing.. i dun exactly have the time to SLACK! gosh.. u know.. slack was the once upon a time very super duper important word.!! really!! but now.. as u can see.. its gone from my to-do-list. sighs.

if i sayt hat ben n jerrys GWC is surviving.. that will be so wrong. why?? cuz they r surviving on only 2 people!! yes!! 2 people!! aizah n francis! i have cut down my work days to 2 times a week. all thanks to the 22nd sept! that day is so not gonna be my day! i swear!! =(

went for a jog in the morning. love it. but i m really feeling tired now. stamina is horrible. need to jog more.. but where got time lor!!! i should just substitude jogging for slacking. really. HAHA! i m lazy :/ once again.. all the books are staring at me!! really really staring!! gosh. let me show u what i did in lecture yesterday. i drew what is exactly on the ppt. HAHA!!

the drawing of the cell body attached to the axon (above drawing) the dendrite and the synapse.(below drawing)

the 4 different parts of the brain n its functions.

the longitudnal side of the brain n spinal cord.

so proud of myself!! HAHA! drew it during lecture eh!! n i got time to copy notes still!! WOW!! =)) i m happy!

toodloos!! =)

Fairytales..

12:58 AM

finally.. the long awaited moment.. jasmine touched down at singapore time 1216pm. yes! i saw it on teletax. HAHA! oh man. then.. not long after her touch down, it rained. blessing i would say. showers of blessing from up above.. blessing with luck and all. =) bless ya jas!! HAHA!

talking on the phone with jas seems so real now. i mean.. skype is real n stuff. but not as real.. i m bound to my computer when i talked on skype. hmm. now i m a free person..walking all around my house, doing many things n MULTITASKING! yes. i m really trying my best to do that.

tomorrow is Aden's day again!! HAHA! i called it that cuz it seems to be that my family always go see Aden now every sunday! isn't it just wonderful? =p n yes, its sunday tomorrow. that means i have to piano all the way again. lets say.. i have finish her homework.. erm.. not quite finish.. left with music composition which will take up almost 2 hours of my time. and corrections in my theory book. just ONE page.. nono.. ONE line. but tis horrible. cuz i gave all that i could for that stupid corrections n its so not working. oh man! =(

now jas is back.. everything seems a little abnormal. seems like we r so close now. but yet so far. the other time is so far but yet.. feel so near. yupp. thats my point. i haven been talking about -points- lately. did not dream of -points- yesterday. i realise that whenever i say something.. the process will stop. haiz. oh man.. i so hope this mth for jas will be good. she came back in my busiest mth. so hope i can cope. =/

alrights now.. its back to composition. toodloos. (i have decided to add a ''d'' in my tooloos. it sounds nicer n looks nicer. HAAH! now lavinia will not say she thinks of the toilet whenever i say that. =P )

Fairytales..

10:07 PM

did i tell u all!??! yesterday night.. i dreamt of -points-.. yes yes. gosh. 2 consecutive days of -points- somehow i wanna get over with this but its so not happening!! yawns. oh wells. jasmine will be back tomorrow!!! YEAH!! =)) can't wait!!! n yes!! friday!! n before friday ever ever ever comes... its monday!!! DREAD AR!!!!!!!! n i need jasmine!!! HAHA!!

actually.. i m too lazy to blog.. but just want u to know. i saw -points-.

Fairytales..

12:05 AM

today is really bad. thinking of -point- is really heartbreaking. HAIZ! oh wells. oh a good note, jasmine will be back in ONE day!!! yes!! ONE!! its friday already n woohoo!!! saturday i will see my DARLINK JASMINE!! love ya jas!! =) working tomorrow. doing opening. haiz.. yawns.. i got so much things to catch up on/with!! ayah.. whatever man!! i really can't be bothered with my english now! its seriously horrible! i need the intensive O level english lesson on writing! HAHA! miss it so much!! =(

today tutorial was rubbish!! only had 2 hours of tutorial! 2pm-4pm. gosh. i really wanted more time for tutorial. need the time man!! tutorial wasn't exactly good. seriously.. its horrible. i exchange numbers today with eric. HAHA! nice guy!! =) this guy is the MR SAMUEL SNG look alike!! HAHA! yes!! n surprisingly.. his surname is SNG too!!! what are the odds?!?! =))

now.. i m studying.. actually.. i m gathering notes from the LEARNJCU web.. duno what is it also. but its just something which is appearently useful. i have got assignment to hand in that is due on the 22nd sept!! i so hope jasmine can help me. its too chim to actually understand!! haiz.. do u know i m so lost in my course now?? i got to rely SO much on friends!! and especially eric.. hes like the one that always update me on things! oh eric!! HAHA! letchmi too!! OH boy.. i feel so shi pai!! =(

alrights now!! i gtg do my research!! very desperate already!!

tooloos!!! =))

Fairytales..

10:44 AM

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MAK!! =))

you know how irritating things gets when some one just keeps blabbering about things?? yes.. my mpm did that!! gosh.. she blabbers about everything even when she is asleep. okay.. shan't say more. this is just the gist of the start of blabbering. HAHA!

i dreamt of -points-. yes. okay.. stupid/silly. i miss -points- i can't use him/she now!! this is so sad right? i have to use codes! gosh. this is seriously horrible. it is good if u get it but oh wells. yupp. as i was saying.. -points- i miss -points- i haven talked to -points- and i wish i can talk to -points- but i know -points- is busy. like who is not?? i m super busy too. but i choose NOT to be busy!! HAHA! -points- is the one that have been in my dreams lately.. sighs. so true but yet so not. oh -points-

i have talked about harry potter being in dream land right?? dumberdore says that only in dreams where we are truely ourself. =) i so believe in that man!! only in dreams do u show n see n experience what u can't experience in life. it mayb due to many reasons. for me, its the pleasing to other people that make me different from who i m. who i m inside, not even jasmine will know. lets just dun talk about parents. i think they r the last. HAHA!

when u see and experience something in dreams, its what u really really really want to experience. lets just also talk about deja vu. haiz. that is so totally different. i will go search on it and inform u ppl!! hmm..

to think about it.. i dun think there is many ppl who read my blogs eh? HAHA! i know jasmine does. she reads n taggs like no one elses business! n the occasion lavinia and candice! =) oh wells.

tooloos. =P

Fairytales..

10:40 PM

my title have nothing to do with my blog entry. i duno y. will blog somthing about my mvp one day!! hehe!

i've got a HUGE stack of work for me to do. n i m SO NOT staring on it. crap. feel so slack! feel so nuah also. gosh. to think there will not be trainings till end of year!!! actually, have trng or not, it really does not make ANY difference! the team is just like that. yes yes alright. its the CAPTAIN's fault! everything is the CAPTAIN!! sometimes.. i just so wanna give up. let it be and let it all go. having a team with team members constantly reminding me of training. not that i dun want man.. not given the chance. no ppl too. :\haiz.

oh wells. today's work is yawns. did many bite size cookies for merlionster. HAHA! fun.. but its so boring. when i left, the sales is not even 300 bucks! thats how slow the pace is in GWC. no one goes there.

i miss Aden. alrights.. its just just just a baby!! oh.. i was studying about babies this morning n yesterday night. hehe. babies are so interesting to study about. i want to know what they r thinking when they are sleeping. do they dream? what do they dream about? do they fear? how they fear? gosh!!! i need to find a lecturer to ask ALL these questions!! lecture 8 will be touching on development!! thats my time to ASK n challenge!!! woo hoo!!!

alright now. i better be going. got a headach already. watch too much my mvp valentine!! HAAH!

tooloos!=)

Fairytales..

11:07 AM

yo!!
its monday today n yes. yawns. piano. felt like i really did alot. but its actually a little thiny tiny little bit. oh wells. talking online with jas now. n piano homework staring at my face! yawns. actually, i m quite done lar. HAIZ!

6 days to jasmine in singapore. HAHA!! yeah!! jas.. i m hanging in there... but slipping off real soon!! QUICK!!!

i got lectures later at 2pm. yawns. its gonna be about memory. gonna be fun but its a monday for heaven sake! =(

Fairytales..

2:01 PM

i m suppose to be at trng already!!! argh!! gonna take a lift from dad but he is LATE! i m so done already! hmm.. =)

do u know this thingy called love? its a thing which gets people's adrenaline all running. people's excitement. i would say.. its the most wonderful thingy on earth. to love, to have love, n to be loved. its all this what goes around comes around thing. u love someone, that person will love u back. in many ways love can be.

u see. love can be so wonderfully nice n blah blah. but there is still so much sadness in love. you know like bf n gf?? i have friends who says '' i wonder what he wants. i dun understand him. but i still love him'' love for a moment is so hurting but loving. this is so so so complex!! but u do get what i m saying right??? yupp. its this complexity that gets love going with adrenaline all pumping round the body!! haiz.

love can hurt one so badly too. u know?? all the i love u but i dun mean it kinda thing? like how friends tell aquentience. ''i love XXXXXX but she is only my aquentience. but i love love love her man!!'' huh?? yupp. the general idea of love.

love is just this universal thing. it hurts one so badly but one still loves it. so complex eh. oh wells.

Fairytales..

12:52 PM

what can i say?? my darling baby cousin is SO adorable!! awwwwww....... =))

i m counting the days.
to many many many things.
JASMINE'S returning to SINGAPORE in 7 days!!!!
etc
etc
etc....
they who shall not be named.
those that must not be mentioned.
forgetting is one thing.
feeling is another.
i claim i forgot.

and have no feelings to anything.
BUT...i feel it in me.

i m gonna do cooking tonight!! yippy!!!
love cooking. HAHA!

touch the hearts of people.
feel them and love them.
but appriciation is not there.
so much about wanting to do sumthing w/o a return.
haiz.
evil world.

tooloos. =)

Fairytales..

10:30 PM

Sun yan Zi: Tian Hei Hei

Fairytales..

10:40 PM

Jasmine...
i know why u are feeling weird. your just missing singapore. no worries. ur coming back soon. this years song i think will be significant to you in many ways.
-and i will sing
a song of home,
a land of peace,
where dreams are born everyday.
my home,
wherever i may be.
i believe
you will always be a part of me.-

you see, national day have always been a significant day to me. this year, its so different. the feel is not there. the want to celebrate is not there. my day was fun but why do i not feel that its a special day? i spend it alone. i thought this year, i will have someone to go watch fireworks with me. sighs. instead, i work to get double pay. tho i get more money. i m so not happy. =( really.

worked in the morning till 7. saw a fly pass on my way home. plop down onto my sofa n sat there, w/o moving till its time to see the fireworks. n this year, the fireworks r not as seeable as all the previous years. i dun see any fireworks this yr. i m so sad. continued to watch singapore idol. nothing interesting actually.

i want to let all of u know that its a horrible day for my due to ONE event that happened when i work. here goes.

i was serving this ang mo family. and they wanted a waffle choc dip cone of cookie dough and sweet cream n cookies. another cone of just vanilla. so i prepared for them. at the same time, there is another 2 pairs of ppl looking at the signboard, n this indian lady waiting behind the ang mo family. after i m done, i brought the money to the counter for francis and i feel its the right time to serve the indian lady. so... the ang mo guy went to the counter to collect his change n i serve this indian lady.

yes.. everything is going on fine UNTIL... she wanted NY super fudge chunk. in a cup. grr. hate that ice cream. its SO SO SO hard... so.. i told her to make her payment at the counter first.(its kinda like to kill both time n her staring at me due to the small little scoop) well.. she made her way to do the payment. n TADA!!! i gave her the ice cream at the counter and she was making a BIG HUGE fuss.!!! over??? over me being RACIST! THANK YOU!!

yes.. she say that i treat the ang mo better.heres what she say.
lady: ''so.. u treat the whites better.''
me: ''huh??''
lady:''u bring the money to the counter and cash for them!!''
me:'' uhuh...(blur look.. still dun understand whats going on) so??''
lady:''SO??? U ARE SAYING SO??? YOU SO RACIST!!!''
me: (finally getting what this BIG fuss is about..) ''OH... what u want me to say??''
lady:(ignores me)
me: ''oh mdm... i m YELLOW!!! does that make me VERY racist??''
francis: ''mdm.. if she is racist, she will not even serve you.''
me: ''dame it!!! this person just said i m RACIST!!! OMG!! i m YELLOW!!!''

as you can see my fellow friends!! this is the kind of people i meet!! doing good n get shit. haiz!!! this is so horrible! oh wells. i m done with it already anyways. HAHA! i m okay. just forget all about it now. =)

jasmine... i will not be online tomorrow. i will be working till 430pm. then i will be going to see aden. HAHA! aden is cute!!!

wishing u will just ring me up. ask me how i feel. thats all.

Fairytales..

12:02 AM

i m feeling tired, (came home from work relatively late.)
aching all over..(from all the washing and did not stretch b4 playing)
AND i can't go to bed. WHY!!!
reason... simple:
-i m still thinking-
-thinking of things which is not possible-
-being overly worried of matters which is not gonna come anytime soon-
-being overly excited about doing opening tomorrow and having to get DOUBLE pay. =)-
-being afraid that i will not be doing my work-
-n still thinking.-
-n i duno what m i thinking about. (mayb...)-

i m kinda worried about my mom. she will be going to the NDP tomorrow with jolene n carmen. i duno if i should tell them to look after my mom. haiz. it will seem all so weird. oh wells. i m really tired. i need to sleep. but i m so not sleeping.. i want.. -points- and i totally miss.. -nods-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!! hoho. =)

Fairytales..

12:41 AM

when u think of friends, what do u think of? who do u think of. what kind of person will u take as friends? some people are just passerbys at one stage of ur life.

this question just pop into my head like only now. in the morning. at1225am. gosh. i must be crazy. but in any case, what do u think of when u say she/he is my friend?

to me, friends r the most important people on earth. surprisingly, money is secondary. to me, friends are the best. they are the ones that are with me when i need them. they are the ones that can help me and advice me when i m in deep shit. which is most of the time in 365 days.

this entry, is basically to thank all my friends. i duno y the sudden but yupp. here goes. its gonna be a long list. i m not gonna die. no worries!! HAHA! its just a little dedication where i can't say what i want to say at normal times. opps. =/

JASMINE- thanks for being there for me all these time. tho u un understand half of my probs at times cuz u can't come up with a solution, i know deep down u really wanna help me. its okay. no worries.. i need someone to listen to me too. i let ppl talk to me so much that i dun listen to myself at times. love ya lots jas.

CANDICE- affair.. ur the best when it comes to relationship probs. love hanging out with u. thanks for being with me these days. i really needed those advices. if it wasn't for u, i would still in my own lala land n i will never know. thanks.

NETBALLERS- ur are the best to play netball with!! woo hoo! there will not be a theresian netball alumni if not for all of u guys. thanks for tolarating all my rubbish and inexperience. i will try my best to be a good captain n lead this almost dying team. thanks hannah for guiding me and helping me out in trngs. ah lim.. just love u man!! HAHA! n to the rest of the team. i duno what to say. i find myself really useless at times. like seriously. i think i m useless lar.

Moo-family- love u guys lots. without u all, i think i will die working in BnJ!!! thanks for the constant reminder of COST n keeping clean. now i really can put that to use in GWC when u guys are not there. i really hope to see u guys real soon. missing u all so much. we need a moo party man!!!

CARMEN- ur my little one. i wanna tell u that i will always be here for u and that when u need help, u can always come find me. tho i may not be the best, i will try to be the best. thanks for listening to all my rubbish about life n piano. love u to bits too.

there is this one special dedication.
to samuel- hey guy.. i duno what to say man. its like when i start talking to u, somehow u seem to put ALOT of sense into me. HAHA! like when i tell u about my team.. yupp. somehow u manage to let me know that i can't do anything. u somehow got my confidence up, to face my team. thats ironic.. HAHA! i know. =)

i duno whats up with me today.. HAAH! with all these dedications. sometimes i feel that i have lots to let my friends know. sometimes, i cannot tell u all. just letting u know here will do. u see this entry.. HAHA! ur lucky. =)

to all thats not mentioned.. i do remember u. ur r still special to me in many other ways. =)

Fairytales..

9:50 PM

i seem to be blogging more and more these days. or rather, starting from yesterday. just put it this way. i m lost. i m having problems starting with the letter A to the letter Z. i only pray hard now that everything will be alright.

remember the times when we were together?? yupp.. u know.. this is a sentence that all or rather most girls love to use. knowingly or not. to their BF's or friends. i use this sentence alot to jas. not that we were together. no.. i mean.. even tho we r together.. er.. it sounds so wrong now. gosh. but anywayz.. u do get my meaning eh?

now.. time flys so fast. jas will be back in say 10 days. i have to start work at only 630 now cuz i have to look after my sister who is not gonna go back to my grand's place anymore cuz my aunty just pop Aden out. which is a good thing but not exactly a good thing for me. i will not exactly have the time to go out n stuff. now my only concern is how m i gonna go out with jas. oh jas.. dun kill me. there is always obstructions when i wanna go out with u.

i have to stay strong. i have always been..!!! right? HAHA! hmm... i realise my entries now have alot of jas's quotes. i duno y eh. she's my inspiration. HAHA!

i was having fun with candice today. shes like my BF somehow. i love her! HAHA! yes. tho it was really wrong to actually do that in the void deck. but ayah... who actually cares? i was only afraid that my parents see us. HMM... n yupp.. its a sunday today. i m gonna be so dead tomorrow. tell me one time where i do not say that i m dead the next day. i was dead yesterday night. doing something so wrong. n i promise i will never do anything of this sought again! it really suck u know. really.

jas.. i m sorry i have to type long long long entries. i just love to let everyone know how in the world i m feeling. sometimes its better to let it all out in words. at least ppl know how i feel n they will look at me at a different light. i m myself. but sadly.. ppl dun like the way i m. sometimes i duno y. ppl like YYYYYYYY have a partner. she looks weird. but HAYO!! nevermind. i shall just go for other fishes. HAHA! i really put it in the wrong way. its not the right way.

OH PEOPLE... jsut let it go n forgive me for my horrible vocab n trying SO hard to explain. life is really ruff. compare to what? compare to the times when i dun have a single thing to worry about. school tomorrow n what have i done for school? nothing. did i read up? yupp.. how much? say 1/2?? m i dead tomorrow? YES! totally dead! to the bones of my body! gosh.

anywayz... i m done!

nice meeting u don.

Fairytales..

10:35 AM

i m not waiting.
i got the answer.
no worries.
i m alright.
HAHA!
i still can laugh!! HAHA!

now that i know.
i will just carry on.
now that i know what ppl r actually looking for.
no worries.

i will not wait...
i will carry on.

=)

i m happy now.
but it will be a real big huge lie if i say i m not sad.
so here it is.
a big huge confused me.
the alright but not alright me.
the no worries but full of worries me.
i duno what i m talking about now.
i only know that i m confused and i just wanna talk it out.
let it all go.
n hope n pray that nothing acually had happened.

yes jas.. i m contradicting myself again.
but i m really...
i really can't find the words.
i m just...
yah.. jas.. u do get what i mean.

Fairytales..

9:12 PM

sometimes waiting can be so so so hurting.
it can also make a person cry till the lungs comes out.
waiting is something that i so can't do already.
tho i really have patience. (according to jas)

know what?
i really dun want to wait.
let me know.
let me know if i CAN wait.
let me know if i HAVE the rights to wait.
i want to wait for something that i know its worth waiting for.

do u know??
it was so hard to say goodbye.
so hard to leave.
so hard to know that it maybe the LAST!
so hard to let everything just go away!!

LET ME KNOW!!!
i REALLY really do wanna know.

=(

i have lost all my patience to wait.
i use to have it.
now its like its gone forever.

should i wait??

Fairytales..

12:05 AM

ADEN IS OUT!!!! YEAH!!!

i like mr smiley!! WOOHOO!!

AND...................

i m gonna be dead on monday!!!

praise the lord God.

Fairytales..

11:33 AM

about me being ill.. hmm.. i m worst then yesterday.. the day before and mayb better then the day before the day before. HAHA! hope u got it.

NO TUTORIAL TODAY!! yea... HAHA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELDA!!!

Fairytales..