you're a mystery yourself

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

12:00 AM

i stare blankly at this blog space. gosh. what did i wanted to say? i totally forgot.

i just finished watching 2 episodes of grey's anatomy. (thank you vivian! for finding that web for me!) now i'm stuck again. maybe this will be a very long post of god know's how i'm feeling. for one i know, that i'm once again either confused or making myself confused. i still dun have the energy to start doing anything related to academic work! and to hear people finishing all the things they need to do, seeing them start on their assignments make me think and feel that i'm pretty much a slacker. so what can i say, i slack and i whine at the end of the day.

nothing much i can do now. have decided to start on something but did not managed to. once again, its a failure in the the making. wtf is going on man?! this sem is suppose to be shittyly good. but its not working. its just rubbish. yes rubbish. i haven remember the time i have the want to study. yes.. i'm that pathetic. and to add on all the drama that's happening in school.. yah, i'm not going to talk abt tt. its so drama i feel. back off and go away drama stuff!!! float to the back of my head and if possible, out of my head.

its midweek. omg.. not good. coming to the end of week 4. god knows what and how i'm going to do for my microskills. i suck at it so much that i want to skip all classes pertaining to that. now, i do realise that the classes i dun like to attend has sumthing got to do with loke. well.. is it him or the subject?! god knows man. but i know that i have tons of readings to do b4 the exam comes which is in... yupp.. soon. less then 2 mths lets just say.

so with all the drama in my life, the not wanting to start doing work, feeling oh so tired, putting on weight and yes, my love life (which is so gonna be on hold now). i came up with a conclusion that i'm pretty useless. i'm procrastinating. and why is this so? because i m who i m. ha. funny. now i'm rubbishing. everything is pilling up.. yes.. all the way. i haven remember the time i got a good break. why?? i want to not do anything, or rather, do the things i love and thats about it. mayb go for a run alternate days, play netball, swim, tan, shopping without worrying the outflow of cash. yes.. thats the way it should be! but no.. i'm rushing my homework, trying to start on revision, trying to think of how to start on homework. i'm lazying and slacking.

coming to the end of the year, it keeps me thinking more now. so.. whats the highlight of my life if someone ask me to make a video about my life? ha... its boring trust me. i cannot remember anything good the happening. maybe is because of the mood i'm in now.

so now, a little note to jasmine yeo..
i'm getting scared as the days come nearer to you coming back to sunny island. i don't know why. maybe its because of all that happened last year. even with u assuring me that u will be okay if its just hanging out watching me do work n u doing nothing, i'm not convinced. i'm not confident with myself and i think i will screw up this vacation of yrs again. so... i duno what to do now.. talk to me yeah!?

what i really hope now is me getting down to do some productive work. i haven feel exhausted for a period of time already. its time again to feel tired and wear out.

THE END

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