somehow, i wish i can cry now, on someone's shoulder.

you know, i felt so much like crying today. i dun no why. mayb i was stressed? i'm replacing xj for work tomorrow. i'm suppose to work on thurs but not working than i decided to work again cuz i promised justin that i will work like 2 weeks ago. i'm suppose to work on friday too!! but i'm not now. if i work all those days, i will be working 4 days! nothing wrong with that. but somehow, i'm guilty. or rather, i felt guilty. cuz i will not have time to do my work. to tell u, my exams are in a blink blink of the eyes! its like 5 weeks? or mayb 6 weeks. nevertheless, i try.. i tried to find replacement. tried to feel good that i will be taking time off my books. but know what? i have not yet started on anything! i , not charissa or eric please! i dun have the cells to remember everything. so please, let me go. why do i actually have no more common topic with u? why do i dread talking to u? why do i find that we r distaning? why do i feel that tis a must to do stuff for u? why do i feel like i'm doing everything? why why why!!!

sometimes, i really love all my friends, family etc. but sumtimes, i want to hide back into my shell and go into the land that is my own. the one that is FAR away from the city. i dun like studying. seriously, who does? (there sure to be the minority but hey!) i need time, i need space, i need ppl who will listen to me, understand me and let me go when i'm to tighted up. why can i do this to ppl n i dun get it in return? yupp, never do sumthing and expect a return. but who said so? i make ppl laugh, i make ppl's day, i listen to my friends when they have prob.. but do they listen to me? sure.. they do. but do they really understand how i really m when i dun speak? m i just tired or m i pondering? m i wanting a shoulder to lay on or do i want a person to rant on? i seriously need sumone who understands me.

so my friends, i'm sorry. i may seem to be pms-ing. but i'm not. i'm just stressed up with work cuz i'm expecting alot this term. i'm so sorry.

ben n jerry's today! =)
tho its the worst day ever at BnJ, i had fun!!! how bad? we had the worst crowd!! the biggest crowd!! the most hard core off premise delivery and to add on.. i can't find replacement which means i have to work, which means my grades will prob be affected due to lack of sleep and time. so... i decided to ete off a bulk! and xj n pam decided to join in the fun! yay-ness! wow!!! its like the best thing ever man!!! =)