you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, October 26, 2006

10:23 PM

i never knew that a show can have so much impact on me. its really unbeliveable. mayb its because of what i m going thru now. i want to find my tai zi. u know. the one n only?? i m watching my mvp valentine. finally got to watch it thanks to mayvina. =) i want to find a bf like duan chen feng. loving xiao xi unconditionally. and at the same time, handsome and stay cool at all cost.. =) both of their relationship is so funny. its always on the rock n no matter how much effort they put in. i believe, no matter what, there will be this one bad person who wants what u have n will spoil the perfect picture. at this point, it is voiced down to trust n all the years of relationship. in the show's case, its angel. its only right and human nature. its like animals do what they do naturally in captivity. oh well. like what mayvina said.. its a show.

i dreamt of the same dream twice and i think it is of a different perspective. basically, i was at australia's dream world and i was swimming with whales and specifically killer whales. the black n white ones and there is this trainer. the best part is that i m with aussie ppl. i duno who they r and i never met them b4. mayb one of the trainer looks like a vet when i watch animal planet. HAHA! anywayz.. here is the interpretation. its pretty scary.
whale:
To see a whale in your dream, represents your intuition and awareness. You are in tuned to your sense of spirituality. Alternatively, it indicates a relationship or business project that is too enormous to handle. (so true right?? hmmm)
amusment park:
To see or be in an amusement park in your dream, indicates that you need to set some time for leisure and more enjoyment in your life. Consider how everything in the park is an expression of some aspect of yourself. Alternatively, you may be too easily distracted lately

i m going thru this emotional rollarcoaster. i m not okay. i m really not okay. what i did yesterday was really wrong. i m sorry, i lied to u, telling u that i m okay. oh man!!! in a day i committed lots of sin! its really bad.. i think my karma is so down. it will come round. one day, i will have to pay what i did. the kind of rejection i gave was seriously wrong. i did not even give a chance, i told mr P off, i broke his heart with my hursh words my harsh tone, my ignorance. not that i like him but hey.. i just till now can't believe that i did sumthing so mean n evil. thanks mayvina for being there with me all this time. i m confused.

tomorrow is friday. a day closer to piano theory exam. i can do it man!!! this is what i always wanted. to finish my piano up. but know what? i duno y but it seems so hard to part. to part with the person that i always want out of my life. and ironically, its the same person who got me my distinctions, and passes for m exams. confusing right?

i finally ran today. its a fine weather. my MP3 player was right beside me the entire day! gosh.. never once i have my MP3 player beside me for so long. i m still listening to it. when i was running, i dun feel so tired like i usually do. i duno y. i did a pretty long run and i m very sure that i m gonna ach badly tomorrow. thank god i m not working. studying with mayvina tomorrow at GWC TCC again. she gives me the motivation to study man!!! =) when i was running, i thot of how horribe i m. how i actually say a big huge NO! so not me but yupp. i did it and i m feeling awfully guilty and sinful. at the end of the day, i just think of how my friends help me thru it. thanks to samuel and mayvina. lots of thanks. =) i so hope that mr P will never find me again. ever again.

this is a long long long post. oh man! i m on a rollarcoaster ride. super emotional day. oh man!

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