you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, August 31, 2006

9:45 PM

so many things happened this week. tho its only 3 days since i last posted.

my piano teacher affirmed me. i not not at all happy. to think of it, i duno if i m to be scared or to just take it easy. inside me, i m really just letting it all be. but the me outside is like really scared. why?? cuz its what society wants me to react. for a huge exam like piano and i m not a single bit scared?? that is a total lie man!! society says that i have to be scared. sometimes i really hate the society.

today in tutorial class.. pretty fun. tho i still dun understand anything about what the hell i m doing. or rather.. why m i taking psychology?? i should have taken business then i can just memorise every single shit n go for the exam at the end of the mth. do well n tata!!! why psychology chermaine?? i m so in a deep shit now. i dun have the mood to read the book. let alone studying it. somehow, i just want to make lots n lots n lots of pretty cakes.

thank god i have jasmine as a friend!! yeah!! =) somehow.. she really make everything seem so easy when she is around. shes like everywhere around me. now that i can SEE her. HAHA! u know whats the bad part to her being here?? i feel uncomfortable. shes TOO smart man!!! feel so shit.. =( i shall say something from one of the person that i so regreated hanging around with.. ''mix with the smart n u will be smart.'' yah... dun worry jas. i m not making use of ur smart to be with u. i seriously m true to u as a friend. really really!! no making use of u!! =))

somehow... things are changing all around me. u see.. its like.. ppl changing.. environment changing.. stress level changing.. somehow.. i want to serve all ties with my sec school mates n hang out completely with my JCU mates. but know what?? i dun even talk much to my JCU friends. somehow i want to feel in class. but i only taking one module lar! n know what?? i haven been going out altely. its SUPER routine. piano. assignment. work. study. uncle's place. where is FUN!!! somewhere out there.

no doubt that i have lots of fun now that jas in here for vacation. but somehow.. i feel that its not fun cuz i have this element of worry in me. like anytime.. it will explode. why?? cuz i m not done with PIANO. n i know i can't have fun if i m not done with anything. okay.. in short.. conscious eating me BIG TIME!

i want to go running. i want to play netball. but everyone is so busy. haven been trng too. not that i have the chance actually. now catherine is farfarfar away in york. WE R SHORT OF CENTRE!! argh... i hope my team will be a team in times like this. seriously.

counting down to the days of my piano exam. not a good thing. as i said.. my piano teacher affirmed me. what will happen lies in my hands. i shall quote from someone i talked to last night to end off my entry for the day...

''practise is the key to success."

to all the educators in the world..
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!

Fairytales..

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