you're a mystery yourself

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

2:49 PM

i duno whats up with me n blogging. i am really in this weird state again. have no mood to study where i really really want to get down to mugg. want to play piano.. finally i realise the importance of piano and that i really need to pass this exam n i really can do it. but there is no motivation from myside to want to do it. there is like this obsticle. oh man. this is horrible. so much of wanting to do well. i think its gonna be another time where i flunk again. and i prove nothing is worth.

u know. its a really funny thing. i help, i lend my hands n shoulders. but it deems like no one is there to actually lend their hands n shoulders in return. mayb this is all what i call retrubution. the want at the very beginning to slap that very person hard in the face. to wake his bloody ideas up, to let him know that its singapore he is staying in. and at the end of the day, he succeeds, he got the fame. he got all the credits. and i m just a losser standing at the side line being mock at.

everyone recently is having probs. and somehow, all this probs are all interconnected. for me, i really feel the competition cells in me are wanting to burst out every sec of the day. i duno y man. its like, i get jealous every single time i see her. i just wanna be better than her. i just want that acknowledgement from ppl that.. yes.. i m doing better than her n i will be better than her. gosh. and for netball too. i just want this whole team to go UP n not down.. but we seem to be standing still. so still that mossie eggs will hatch.

this is a really funny thing. u must be thinking. what the hell is chermaine talking about when she is studying psychology?? she should know how to settle her own probs man!!yupp.. the point here is I CAN'T man... where everyone is there with all their probs. n i have this one clown who just throws all her probs to me. yes!! literally throw. gosh... whats up with problems?? so much as i wanna stand by my friends n help them. but i realise then again, that probs r created. they dun just pop out man. okay.. i sound contradicting somehow.

oh wells. i think i will just find a way out again.

Fairytales..

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