you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, June 18, 2006

8:35 PM

Dumberdole from harry potter or rather JK rowling mentioned in one of the harry potter book before that only when someone sleep n starts to dream, they r truely themself. they have the power to be themself. the self where when they are awake, they can't be at all because of the evil cold world. u may want to say ''i m myself when i m awake.' yes.. you r urself but hey.. there is this one bit of self that u hide away from others. even with ur true friends, parents, loved one, or even the one that u say knows u the best! think about it.

i seriously think that besides in your sleep n when u dream, there is another place when ur awake u r truely yourself. yes. the toilet. this may seem funny, but hey.. truthfully, i realise that the toilet is a place where ppl r themselves.

put aside the fact that when ppl visits the toilet, it is only for peeing n shitting n if they have a bathroom, to shower as well. put this aside. lets get down a little deeper. when one visits the toilet to pee.. they r themselves. they will wonder.. ''hey.. i m so fat.. gosh, i have TUMMY!!! oh man!!! gotta lose weight!!'' see.. however, when they go out, they will tell their friends, ''hey.. i m fat man!!'' n their friends will reply, ''no your not.'' not that they wanna comfort u. its just that u yourself hide your fats behind those shirts. no one can see it or feel it except yourself. see what i mean?!?!

if you r still not convinced, let me give u another illustration. where, in your house is the place you can turn to when u need a ''shoulder'' to lie on?? some may say their bedroom. some will say the hall, but as for me, its the toilet. let me further explain this.

i m a super duper emotional person. the slightest thing will make me cry the entire day. where can i go man?!?! i can't go to my room. cuz my parents will see me cry. i head straight to the toilet. no one can go in there n ask '' why r u crying'' or rather ''so big already still cry!! whats there to cry about''. when i go have some of myself to myself, the toilet is a good place cuz it tells me that i can do whatever i want. nobody will exactly care. think about it. i m sure u did ask someone ''what r u doing in the toilet man'' n they will reply ''what do u think lor'' this is it. when i cry, my parents ask the question, i will tell the model answer! thats simple!! so what do u reckon?? m i right?!?!

its a place in my home, i realise that i can TRUELY be me. me me me me!! no one bothers because its a ''duh'' thing of why someone is in the toilet. what else can they do man! i feel at ease whenever i m done from the toilet. be it shitting, peeing, bathing or crying. ask my house toilet bowl, they heard it all, smelled it all,undersood it all. ask the basin too. they see ME all.

think about it.. =)

btw. my netball team took part in the 30hrs street netball on the 17th june to 18th june. we almost got into the 2nd round. oh wells. we got 3rd placeing in out group. good job guys! we will work hard towards pesta sukan!

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Amanda
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